Risk Management

Scripture:
"And He took with Him Peter and James and John, and began to be very distressed and troubled." Mark 14:33

Observation:
It is easy to forget sometimes that Jesus was fully man. He felt every emotion that humans feel. Fear. Pain. Anguish. Torment. No feeling was beyond Him.

As Jesus sat in the garden that night He could see all that was coming. One of His twelve would betray Him. Those who remained would be scattered, persecuted and eventually most of them would be killed. His body would be marred, beaten, and eventually hung on a cross until suffocation stole the breath of his lungs. The weight of the world's sin would literally be placed on Him and He would be outside of the fellowship of His Father for the first time.

Knowing that he was fully man and as such felt all human emotions, I just can't fathom the thoughts that He must have been experiencing. My entire life is built around avoiding loss. From the contents of my house to my own life, everything is protected. I do all that I can to avoid risk, exposure, pain, or loss on any front.

Application:
As I study this passage this morning I sense a few things that I can take as lessons. First, I must learn to value obedience to God. If I am honest with myself I struggle with obedience more than do I value it. Here is a simple example. In the heat of the moment, when I am good and ticked off, I hear a still small voice telling me to let go of my argument and forgive the other person even though they are wrong. In this situation I do not react with joy at the sound of that small voice. I get irritated. I throw a fit. Most of the time, I just disobey it and ask for forgiveness later. But Jesus was different. He truly valued obedience as being the better thing. That is the level of obedience God desires for me.

Second thing that I feel I can take away from this passage is honest prayers. Growing up in church brought many good things in my life, but it also brought many struggles. One of the greatest struggles that the tradition of religion brought upon me was all the fake prayers I heard offered. People talked differently when they prayed. They used words that were uncommon and phrases that were unfamiliar. I naturally picked up on this model and struggle with it still today. As I read this passage this morning, I see a different type of prayer. Jesus did not hold back. He called out to God and told Him exactly what he felt. Raw, unfiltered emotion poured out from Him to His father regarding the events that were coming His way. Then He did something amazing, He surrendered to God's will. That is the essence of true prayer.

The final lesson that I can take away from this passage is the reminder that I can't live on the prayers of others. Jesus took with Him His closest three companions to pray with Him, but they could not sustain their prayers. Three times He checked on them and three times He found them asleep. While His soul has anguished and He cried out to God, His friends slept. As bad as that sounds, it is reality. It is unrealistic for me to expect other people to be able to pray for something in my life with the same level of emotion and intensity that I can pray over my own situation. While it is good to seek others to pray with me, I must make sure that this does not become a surrogate for me praying for myself.

Prayer:
It is amazing to me that I have the ability to connect with You as I do. There is no fear. No condemnation. No thought of what I need to say. Every time I pray I have the opportunity to pour out my heart before You without worry. That just blows my mind as I do not have that freedom in any other relationship. I ask this morning that you help me apply the lessons You gave to me this morning. You know me better than I know myself and so You know how far I am away from feeling that obedience is the better choice. It is an ugly truth of my life and the only way for me to get away from it is that You guide me.

While I do not struggle with praying to You honestly, I do struggle with surrendering to Your will in the end. I want things to turn out the way I want them to be. I ask that you help me lay down all that is within me to seek Your will in my life. Teach me to pray through things and to stop praying for escape from things.

In all that I do today I desire to do thing with a pure heart, securely grounded in Your will, and with absolute clarity of purpose.

Building Blocks

Scripture:
"Six days later, Jesus took with Him Peter and James and John, and brought them up on a high mountain by themselves. And He was transfigured before them." Mark 9:2

Observation:
Following the lives of the disciples is an incredible journey for me. Jesus literally scraped the bottom of the barrel with His ministry and surrounded Himself with a team of very unlikely men and women. Everyday these people walked after Jesus they experienced something new. Each moment offered them the opportunity to walk deeper or to step away.

Application:
I settle for too little of God. I need to more of Him than I am getting. So how do I do that? What needs to shift in my life in order for my image of God to be transfigured before me?

I think that it starts with the basic building block of staying connected with God. I am good at getting up early and carving out my quiet time. I study the Word, write my journal, pray and then roll with my day. There is a transition that happens around six o'clock every morning when I put down my Bible and begin getting my family up and going for the day. It almost feels like I leave God sitting in the club chair where I pray and head out without Him. For some reason, it is hard to keep connected with Him as I wrestle against the clock and attempt to accomplish all that is on my plate for the day. My life needs to shift in this area.

I think the next block I need to evaluate is the time I spend with Him. Many days, the only alone time I have with God is the time I spend from 5 - 6 in the morning. Just how much of God do I think I can get in an hour? This needs to change on a couple levels. First, I just need to be intentional throughout the day to pause and pray. My days are crazy. The demands created by a staff of more than 50 and the couple thousand volunteers I oversee creates more than I can reasonably complete. The success I have depends totally upon my ability to lead in obedience to God. I can't bet my success on an hour alone with God. Second, I need to carve out some intentional times to be alone with God. Throughout Jesus' ministry I see Him modeling the importance of getting away to lonely places which are free of distractions and just connecting with God.

I think that the last block I need to evaluate is my mission. Jesus was totally surrendered to God's mission for his life. Jesus' disciples surrendered to the best of their ability to the same mission. The question for me becomes whose mission am I serving? I have a tendency to ask God to be a part of my mission and not really seek after His. I want God to come along side of me and help me succeed with my plans. The call I sense in my spirit this morning is to really fast and pray for clarity around the direction God has for my life and get in alignment with it.

Every moment of everyday represents an opportunity to do something with God. He is constantly at work and I have an open invitation to join him. Surrender for me is moment by moment. It only takes a few decisions and I can find myself making choices I regret.

Prayer:
There is not a single thing listed in this journal that I am capable of doing. I have tried to address these basic three things for years. Help me today to stay connected with You. In a few moments I will put down my Bible, shut down my laptop and start my day. I don't want to leave You behind in that process. I ask that You walk before me. Open my eyes to view my life differently. I ask that You be real enough to me today that I can literally see Your path before me and follow along; staying in constant contact with You and pursuing only Your mission for my day.