Not Then, Now

Read: Ezra 3
“2 Then Jeshua the son of Jozadak and his brothers the priests, and Zerubbabel the son of Shealtiel and his brothers arose and built the altar of the God of Israel to offer burnt offerings on it, as it is written in the law of Moses, the man of God. 3 So they set up the altar on its foundation, for they were terrified because of the peoples of the lands; and they offered burnt offerings on it to the Lord, burnt offerings morning and evening.”

Examine:
Common sense would hold it to be a better decision to not start the sacrifices until the temple was built and the walls were reconstructed. People who were their enemies surrounded them. The moment the smoke started billowing from the alter the war drums would start beating from the camps of those who hated them and their God. The leaders and the people pushed through their fears and logic in order to honor what God desired of them.

Apply:
There has always been this thought in the back of my mind that once my faith grew strong I would do more for God. I have too many doubts, I know far too little of the Bible and I struggle with too many things. I can’t teach the Word, I can’t really pray that great, and I don’t feel strong enough in my convictions. I have always thought that once God sets those things straight I would then be able to do something great.

My mind says assess the situation and make a prudent decision based on my judgment of the risk. The problem with this line of thinking is that it is completely without Biblical precedent. It is a lie straight from the smoke of hell and it has cost me much in life. The call of Christ is just as I am, from where I am; I must be following hard after Him. It is a call to come and die. I must die to my own terms of obedience. I must die to the image I have of faith. I must die to sense of security. I must die to my ideal situation and just say yes from where I am.

Pray:
Over the past few days I have desired from You a sign. I have cried out to You and longed for You to do something tangible to prove Yourself to me. I have asked for the doubts that haunt me to be removed and for the risk I daily face to be shrunk into something more manageable. I have put my needs before You and asked that You make the provision evident. As I have done that, I have seen the needs grow and my resources shrink. I have experienced more conflict and less favor. In the heat of it all the word I heard from You through a friend was, “Jason, you will never know with certainty. The resources will never be enough. The provision will never arrive early. The conflict will always make it seem impossible. If I give you what you are asking for, you will no longer need faith. And without faith, it is impossible to please me.”

I accept this word from You today. I do not like it, but I understand it. As crazy as it seems, I continue to step toward You today in faith. I would like to say I will no longer pray for assurance, but we both know that is not possible. I so appreciate Your grace as I try to figure this life out and grow and mature in my journey back home to You. In the middle of all this mess; I have never loved You so deeply, needed You so strongly, or been so grateful for my life. Thank You for taking me on this journey.