Pockets of Sin in Me

Read: Haggai 1
“10 Therefore the heavens above you [for your sake] withhold the dew, and the earth withholds its produce. 11 And I have called for a drought upon the land and the hill country, upon the grain, the fresh wine, the oil, upon what the ground brings forth, upon men and cattle, and upon all the [wearisome] toil of [men’s] hands.” Haggai 1:10-11

Examine:
There are attributes of God that are not fun to think about. Two of those are God’s wrath and His discipline.

Apply:
The Amplified Bible includes a bracket of text in this verse that changes the nature of the whole passage. It is for my sake that God disciplines me and displays His wrath. It would be against His character to not do so. When I think of my children, most of the time they see my anger and wrath it is because I am trying to keep them safe and help them grow up strong. If I, as an imperfect father, do that with my children how much more will my God do that with me since He is a perfect Father.

Pray:
I do not despise Your discipline. There are things going on in my life right now that I know to be Your discipline. It hurts but I thank You for it because I need it. My sense is there are three pockets of sin in me that You are working out of me.

I do not seek You as I should, I am controlled by my desire to please others, and I want people to think highly of me. More than affecting my resources, these three areas of disobedience impact my relationship with You. If I am honest with You and myself the impact on our relationship does not bother me as much as the lack of resources do and that is where I need to start today.

I confess to You that I desire the things of You more than the heart of You. I hold blessings from You in higher regard than I do intimacy with You. I desire success and power more than I pursue being right in Your eyes and at home in Your presence. I know this about myself and see the connection between this attitude in my heart and the discipline I am experiencing.

I can’t change me. I can’t make this problem go away. Neither can You. The outcome of this whole process depends wholly on You applying discipline and me responding appropriately to it.

That is where I am today and from where I am and as best I can I am working towards You in this. My only true desire is to serve You fully and offer You my best. I confess my sin to You, rest in Your grace, and look forward to a new day of learning as I allow You to work in my life. More than blessing, I am trying to set my heart on intimacy and obedience. Thanks for Your patient mercy and loving discipline as I fumble through this process. Knowing that You know I love you and that You see more in me than I see in myself grants me a great deal of peace today.