Life Journal: True Comfort

Scripture: "For I did not shrink from declaring to you the whole purpose of God." Acts 20:27

Observation: Paul had learned a lot during his lifetime. He was a man that had pursued much. He had been Holy and served God with a pure heart. His religion transitioned to hypocrisy and brought him great wealth and title. He became a Zealot and a murderer; pursuing Christians and contributing to their demise. Then he encountered God and for the first time learned what it meant to be a broken man. Now he is a new creature and has found what true comfort is. True comfort is not just pursing God. It is not just finding salvation. It is not just studying the Bible and spending time in Prayer. True comfort moves well beyond all of these things. True comfort is a fruit that is produced out of our steadfast obedience to everything that God places on our hearts to do; regardless of the personal cost that accompanies it.

Application: I still remember the day. The words that came through the phone that night bring tears to my eyes even now as I reflect on them. "Randy killed himself" is what the voice on the phone said to me. I dropped to a sitting position on the bed, thanked the caller, hung up the phone and endured great personal torment as I reflected back over my encounter with Randy only three days prior to this call. I was at a point in my life that I was not walking close to God. It was my first year in the financial services industry and I was struggling to establish myself while Brandy and I were also wrestling with our first year of marriage. Instead of drawing close to God, I had simply drifted away and my relationship to God had fallen aside. I ran into the bank to make a deposit and saw an old friend from high school. Randy was sitting there on a bench and I stopped and spoke to him. My Spirit stirred and I felt the need to slow down and spend some time with him. It was so strong that it created an awkward moment. I had not felt my spirit stir in quite some time and I honestly did not know what to do with it. I was heading to an appointment and in quite a hurry so I pushed aside the feelings, told him goodbye and left. Not a day goes by that I do not reflect on that day. I know Randy's lifestyle and I am as certain of his destination as I am broken by my actions. What I would not give to return to that day, but I can not. My life went into a tailspin after this. I could not forgive myself nor could I understand how God could forgive me. I literally felt like I sent someone to hell. What type of friend or Christian does that? The sad thing is that I do not remember anything else I did the day I saw Randy other than that brief encounter at the bank I had with him. Everything other memory from that day has faded away. The money I made has long since been spent. Through that experience God has taught me much. I still at times struggle to speak every time God places something on my heart, but I am getting much stronger. I have learned that the only comfort there is in life and the only actions that really matter are those that result from me living out my obedience to God. That moment created inside of me a better man. That is the amazing thing about God. He takes the times that I am at my worst and molds them into the character He desires for me to have. All I have to do is be diligent to obey. I have finally come to realize that God's Grace covers all sin and that ultimately Randy's death and his eternity were not my responsibility. They were both his choices. I also know that what I did that day was sin, but that it was nailed to the cross the day I accepted Christ. Dwelling on that moment and not letting go of the guilt only separates me from God and increases the chances that I will miss another opportunity.

Prayer: Receiving your forgiveness is the greatest thing I can have in my life. That said, the ultimate comfort comes from following after everything you place on my heart and not shrinking back from difficult situations. I pray that you never allow me to forget the importance of slowing down in life and truly paying attention to the people that you have placed in my life. That is my reason for being and my I am where I am today. My pursuit of you has taken me to places that I never thought possible. I am so grateful that you never give up on me and still love me no matter what. I confess that the times I doubt my ability to share you with others as sin and rejoice in Your ever present Grace. I pray this day for the opportunity to join You in Your plans for the life of another of Your children. Guide me as I go. Get my attention when you need it. Fill me with Your Words as I obey. May all that I do bring glory to Your name. Allow Your comfort to be all that I seek.