The Helper

Today's passages: John 15 & 16:1-16

Scripture:
"When the helper comes, who I will send to you from the Father...And He will convict the world concerning sin, and righteousness and judgment." John 15:26 & 16:8

Observation:
Jesus did not leave us empty handed. Upon His return to heaven, this promise was given to us; the Helper. A helper to replace the role Jesus played in the life of the disciples. The Holy Spirit of God.

Application.
When I think about the role Jesus played in the life of the disciples, I think about it terms of his relationship with them. Jesus walked ahead of them, modeled the right things, empowered them and instructed them. His leadership with them was very conversational. He was constantly talking with them. As I study this scripture and think of the role of the Holy Spirit in my life, I realize that there are three main ways I must look to the Holy Spirit in my life.

The first is concerning sin. This covers all the "what not to do's". This was a big issue in Jesus' relationship with the disciples. He helped them sort through the legalistic garbage of the day and understand what true sin was.

The second is concerning righteousness. This covers purity. There is a huge gap between religious righteousness and the righteousness modeled by Jesus. My relationship with Jesus makes me righteous. The attitudes, values, beliefs, and motivations of my heart are where this righteousness must be reflected. The Holy Spirit is here to train me in how to allow those changes to take place.

The third is concerning judgment. When I think about decisions that I make on a daily basis, I realize that everything which occurs in my life is ushered in my a choice I made. There is no a single thing in my life that can't be traced back to something I chose to do. Some of these decisions are made consciously and others are so routine I do not even realize I made them. The Holy Spirit is here to help me capture every choice and to live my life alert to the work of my Father. Good judgment is essential to living a life of obedience.

Prayer:
There are many days that I find myself feeling quite lonely. I get lost, confused and beat down by the weight of living in this fallen world. In those moments I often wish I had a clear answer from You. Better direction. A tangible presence.

As I study Your word this morning I am taken back to the promise of Your Son to send a Helper and am convicted of just how little impact that Helper has on my daily life. I pray that You open my mind and heart to learn how to connect with this promised Helper.

The Holy Spirit was given to me to serve just as Jesus served the disciples. I pray that I learn to hear His voice speaking to me about sin, righteousness and good judgment.

Not Knowing

Today's Passage: John 12.

Scripture:
"Now My soul has become troubled ; and what shall I say, 'Father, save me from this hour'? But for this purpose I came to this hour. Father, glorify Your name. John 12:27-28

Observation:
Earlier in this chapter verses 12 - 19 describe Jesus' entry into Jerusalem. It was nothing short of spectacular. People lined the streets cheering and celebrating the arrival, not of Jesus, but of their perceptions around what Jesus was going to do for them. They were not thinking about the will of God but instead were focused on what they were going to get out of the deal.

Jesus on the other hand was focused on His mission. These words recorded by John follow the celebration given to Jesus upon His return to Jerusalem. This celebration was so over the top that even the enemies of Jesus admitted defeat. I know that he had to be tempted, but Jesus stayed the course. He knew what God desired and that was all he sought.

Application:
There are a few things that stick out to me in this passage. First, I must seek the will of my Father. Outside of knowing what God desires for my life, there is nothing to ground me. Nothing to put parameters around my thinking. I am totally open to anything as being a possible invitation from God. This leads to a lot of confusion.

Second, I need to pay attention to pain. I hate pain. As the first signs of a headache appear, I start popping pills to shut it down. I do the same in my spiritual life. As soon as I start to experience some type of discomfort in my life, I begin praying to God for it to go away. In this passage, Jesus models a different example. He walked towards his fear, pain and discomfort because He knew that was what God had for Him. It was His call. Not all assignments are fun or comfortable.

Finally, it is not about my will. Jesus did not care to save His life. He was ready to offer it up freely. He understood that His life was not about what He wanted; it was about what His Father desired.

Prayer:
I would have taken the throne. It shames me to say it, but the parade of people would have gotten me. As rode into town to the cheers of all the people, my mission would have shifted and I would have allowed the hoopla to carry me away.

That is the danger of not knowing Your will. So many times I approach You in prayer, thinking I know what needs to happen. Then, I just serve You the answer and ask that You bless it.

I recognize that as a problem and confess it to you as sin. I also ask for Your help. There is no way I can lay down my ambitions unless You replace them. There is no way I can live my life without my own goals, unless You give me Yours. And there is no way I can get to any close to walking in obedience unless You take over the quiet times of my life and speak to me in a real, tangible way.

My soul longs to sit with You and talk as one talks to a loved one. I desire for my times with You to be as intimate as any experience on earth. I am not satisfied to be where I am. I want to be closer to You and more grounded in Your will. Please take away the confusion and give me clear thoughts, replace my doubts with affirmation, and take my desire for comfort and redirect it towards a pursuit after Your will.

Dark Storms

Today's passage: John 5:16-47 & John 6:16-24

Scripture:
"It had already become dark and Jesus had not yet come to them." John 6:17

Observation:
The disciples expected Jesus to show. When He did not, they set out on their own. Things went from bad to worse. It was dark. They could not find Jesus. It was storming. Things were getting pretty rough for them.

I really relate to this story. Especially when it says it became dark and Jesus had not yet come. There are several places in my life right not where I feel like I am alone, in the dark, on a storm tossed sea. Helplessness and hopelessness pursue me. Fatigue keeps calling on me to just lay down. Frustrations mount as I wonder where Jesus is in the middle of all this. Questions began to surface. Doubts set in. My anger boils.

Application:
I hate these types of situations. People often panic over the storms of nature, but not me. I can handle, track or predict them. It is the storms of life that freak me out. They're seldom are something I can handle, track or predict. They come at the oddest of moments and there is no way to know when they will end.

This morning, I am reminded of a few important things. First, I need to be walking with Christ. Many times I have turned to God only after a storm hit and I needed help. This is not the best of times for this. I need to daily guard where I stand with God and pursue him continually.

Second, I need to learn to expect darkness and storms. They will happen. It does not matter what I read, what I pray, or what anyone else says; the storms of life are inevitable. This does not mean that I live life in dread, but I do need to develop a healthy acceptance of these things as being part of my growth and development.

Third, I need to learn to balance seeking the Lord while working out of the things I face. When the disciples see Jesus, they were not just sitting in the boat doing nothing. They had not thrown down their oars. They were not waiting on death. They were rowing the boat and alertly watching what was going on around them. That is the same lesson I must apply. Regardless of what situation I face, I must strive to keep going and never stop expecting God to show up.

Prayer:
Father there are areas of my life right now that are dark, stormy places. Many nights I sit alone, wrestling with desperation, and struggling to find hope. My energy has fades and I really feel like I am running on fumes.

I have been in these moments before and I am grateful for all You have taught me, but I still do not like it and I do not understand it. But, I respect the path You have placed me on.

I confess before You today that You are worthy of my praise, You alone are able to deliver, and that the struggles of this life are a cheap price to pray for the relationship I have with You now and are counted as nothing when compared to the life that is to come.

I ask that You strengthen me today to handle the things that come my way. In the darkest of moments, when the storm is at it greatest, I pray that You fill my heart with excitement and anticipation as I await Your deliverance.

Misused Strength

Today's Passages: 1 Peter 1 & 4

Scripture:
"Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ." 1 Peter 1:13

Observation:
Prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit and fix your hope. Three simple commands, three really difficult orders to obey.

Application:
The first order in this passage is to prepare my mind for action. Given that I am an adult who suffers with ADD; this is not so easy for me. My mind is all over the place. It often feels like I'm trying to watch TV with my finger holding down on the channel button. The randomness with which my mind operates creates issues for me being prepared.

That said, I believe that the world is wrong in saying that my mind is dysfunctional. I think that God wired me to be who I am. His word tells me that I am beautifully and wonderfully made. He tells me that he formed me. His word also tells me that He does not ask me to do something that I am not capable of completing. Instead of thinking of all the reasons that I can't do this, I need to focus on the things I know I can do.

The second order in this passage is to keep sober in spirit. I have a temper. Actually that is a bit of an under statement, sort of like saying the stock market has some losses. Certain things flip a switch inside of me and I can get ticked in a hurry. I have worked on this over the years and gotten much better at controlling it. But as I think about it this morning I realize that I have only gotten better at outward expressions of my temper because I still carry a lot of inner anger.

Being sober spiritually seems to me to mean that I maintain control of my emotions and priorities. It is ok to have anger as long as I harness into passion. It is ok to get my feathers ruffled as long as it is not based on self-centered pride.

The third order in this passage is to fix my hope completely Christ. Of the three, this one contains the most challenges. There are so many things in the world that compete with this. Money. Advancement. Possessions. Family. Pleasure. Trips. Hobbies. Entertainment.

As I look at that list I realize that there is not a single thing there that is innately evil. These things only become evil when they are misused. There are many ways to misuse them, but this morning I am really thinking about the times I put my hope in these things. There are moments when I think if I only had _____; then I would feel better. When I do this, I am fixing my hope in something other than God.

Prayer:
Sometimes when I assess myself it is tempting to wonder what You were thinking when You designed me. So much about my nature seems to work against me succeeding. The randomness of my thoughts, the explosiveness of my emotions, and the my heart's ability to dream come together to create the core of who I am. I have spent the majority of my life fighting against these things.

As I sit here this morning I realize two mistakes in my approach. First, I can't do it on my own. There is absolutely nothing I can do on my own to change anything about myself. The second thing I realize is that I am not broken. You made me to be who I am. I will always have random thoughts every three seconds and lack the ability to pay attention. My emotions will never be even and smooth. My heart will always dream huge dreams and so I will never be good with staying put. These three things are the abc's of who I am. They are my core strengths.

I ask that You help me learn how to use them for Your glory and give me the strength to avoid their ability to tear me down. I know that You equipped me with these abilities for a certain purpose and I ask that my life come into alignment with that. Help me to gain control of these misused strengths and become the man You desire me to be. A man whose mind is prepared for action, whose spirit is sober and whose hope is set on You.

Expanding My View

Today's Passage: Hebrews 3 & 4

Scripture:
"For we have become partakers of Christ, if we hold fast the beginning of our assurance firm until the end…" Hebrews 3:14

Observation:
There is no need to issue a warning to hold on unless something is coming to create the need. There is no need to pull the alarm, unless you know there is something wrong. No one instructs others to do any type of preparation unless they are sure that something of need is approaching.

In the same vain, Paul would have never issued a statement such as this unless he knew that every Christian would one day stand face-to-face with something that opened them up to doubt.

Application:
It is safe to say that being tempted to doubt or being pressed to the verge of confessing that God does not exist is a given. There is no way around it. Eventually; it comes. The scriptures are full of verses such as this one which remind me to hold fast. The temptation is not a problem; it is how I chose to respond.

Prayer:
Father God, Hebrews 4:15-16 contains one of my favorite assurances in the Bible. Knowing that Jesus, my High Priest, has faced every temptation I now face and fully understands the weight of those temptations offers me amazing peace. I approach You today in confidence not because I am without sin, but because I know my sins have been dealt with by the power of Your Son.

I ask today that You strengthen my belief in You. I can only be as strong as my understanding of Your truth, Your works, Your ways, Your desires, Your power and all the other things that are You. I pray that my view of You be expanded so that I can taste the fullness of who You are.

A Simple Servant's Call

Scripture:
"The Lord's Bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition." 2 Timothy 2:24

Observation:
This day's reading continues to teach me about being a bond-servant. As I prayed through yesterday's reading, God really opened up my heart to understanding the attitude I should have and the view I should develop of my role in life.

Even though the scriptures say that I am a joint heir with Christ, I am to humble myself and live as a bond-servant; a simple slave with no rights. A person indebted to their master and prepared to serve without expecting anything in return.

Today's passage begins to shed a little light on some characteristics that I need to allow God to develop in me. Today is about a simple servants call.

Application:
Not quarrelsome; ouch. Kind to all, eek. Able to teach, uh-oh. Patient when wronged, whoops. Correcting opposition with gentleness; duh-oh!

Prayer:
As the pressures of life mount up and frustration in my life build, I often find myself snapping under the weight of it all and becoming more than a little irritated. My patience runs thin and I find it pretty easy to become quarrelsome.

I am definitely kind by nature, but my kindness is not available to all people. Many times I feel a great desire to be kind only to see it overridden by my foolish pride. I withhold kindness when I am hurt, offended or pressed into a corner.

Being able to teach feels like a mystery to me. I am often unsure of what to say, how to say it, or when to say it. My fears and feelings of inadequacy often override my strong desire to see Your Word become known to others.

When I am wronged, I get riled up. Anger, bitterness, revenge, spitefulness, and vengeance boil in my blood. I fight these feelings hard, but I they take a toll on me. In the heat of the moment I often lose this battle. Rarely could one say that I am patient while I am being wronged.

Correcting with gentleness is difficult in certain circumstances. There are times when I want to use a sledge hammer on something that only requires a tap. There is something about human nature that often tempts me into believing the you have to be forceful to get anything done. I meet opposition with both barrels blazing when I should really come unarmed.

I ask for Your help in growing past all these issues today. Help me to own the fact that these things represent the service to which I am bonded. These are the traits of the good work You have for me. Your word promises that You will equip me to accomplish every good work to which You have called me. I ask today that You open my eyes to find the strength to be in submission to Your call on my life.

Simple Servant

Scripture:
"Paul, a bond servant of God and an apostle of Jesus Christ." Titus 1:1

Observation:
In my world use of the term servant or slave has really lost it's meaning. Slavery or servitude is only something that I read about. I have never seen it. I have never experienced it. As such, it is often easy to miss out on its full meaning. Paul introduces himself as a bond-servant. In Paul's day, these were the lowest of slaves. They were bound to service, normally because of something that they had done, and expected absolutely nothing in return.

Application:
As I look at this passage this morning I am held captive by it. It is such a simple sentence yet it so revealing. It begs the question, how do I view my relationship with God? It is easy to give the Sunday school answer and say that I am in service to God, but if I examine my lifestyle, attitude, expectations and prayer life; what does the evidence say? Do I live my life as a bond-servant to God or does the evidence say that I live my life expecting God to work on my behalf?

Prayer:
Father, I must confess to You this morning my pride and self-centeredness. As I examine my life today I realize just how self-motivated I am. I want things. Most of my prayers center on what I want from You or need for You to do for me. Most of my interactions are driven by the prevailing force of my desires and needs.

I need to learn to live a more surrendered life. My old nature is still strong inside of me. That old nature constantly reminds me of my needs, wants, desires, rights and comforts. That old nature will destroy anything in it's path in pursuit of what it desires. That old nature scares me. It was a brutal master to which I have no desire to return.

I ask that You help me today to die to myself. Help me to live a sensible life and focus only on Your righteous desire for others to experience Your kindness. Allow me to walk in sound understanding of Your Word and to be able to express that understanding to others. Fill me with the strength required in order to persevere. Help me to forgive those who attack me, push through problems that tire me, and find joy in the midst of doing the right thing.

There are many things that fight for my attention and focus. The only hope I have in living my life for You is that You bring Your kingdom down to earth and make it real to me. I beg that You move before me today in tangible ways that remind me of just how real You are and provide me the evidence I need to find strength which will continue me in my journey back home to You.

The Good Fight

Scripture:
"That by them you fight the good fight, keeping the faith and a good conscience." 1 Timothy 1:18-19

Observation:
It seems like there are two extremes in the Christian church. On one side, you have those who are willing to fight over anything. At the drop of a hat they seem to be willing to form debates, organize strikes, or just rip into people. Anger, paranoia, and legalism drape around these people everywhere they go.

On the other side, you have those who are not willing to fight for anything. They never stand up. They never say a word. They either do not care or they hide behind obscure passages of the Bible which speak to offering grace or being people of peace.

Application:
This is a challenge for me. I am a fighter. I do not like to fight, but when something wells up inside of me it is really hard to not act on it. At the same time, I am also a coward. In the heat of battle, I have been known to clam up and not say a word. While some people seem to rest on one side or the other, I find myself straddled somewhere in between. When faced with conflict, I often find myself wondering which is the right approach; fight or flight?

In this passage from Timothy, I clearly hear the call from my God to fight the GOOD fight while keeping my faith and a good conscience. In verse 5 of this chapter Paul lays out three things that I need to keep in mind. He says to go about these things with a pure heart, a good conscience, and a sincere faith.

Prayer:
There are so many times that I forget You have called me into a war. It is a war which has existed since the beginning of time and will continue to be waged until Your return. There are many times that I do not enter the battle at all and there are just as many times I enter the battle as anything but a good solider. I pray this morning that you teach me to be a good solider.

Give a pure heart. A good solider in Your army never acts on anything less. Keep me focused on the salvation of others and to always act out of love; not selfish motives. Help me to always be focused on the establishment of Your kingdom and on reconciling You with those who find themselves separated from Your good will.

Keep my conscience clear. I believe that You have equipped me with an internal mechanism which alerts me when I am doing things outside of Your plan. I sense something inside telling me or alerting me to bad choices. Every time I blow past this voice, I end up living with regret. I pray that You help me live in a manner that strengthens my conscience and avoids placing ghosts in my soul which haunt me.

Teach me to have sincere faith. I want to own my faith and I want my faith to be real. This is often very difficult. It is tempting to take short cuts or to misuse scripture in order to prove a point. I pray that You work in my life in a manner that equips me to own a sincere faith in You.

Its Time to Wake Up

Scripture:
"Do this, knowing the time, that it is already the hour for you to awaken from sleep; for now salvation is nearer to us than when we believed." Romans 13:11

Observation:
Verses 11-14 really stand out to me this morning. It is something about the call to wake up that really resonates deep inside of me. Life is so rhythmic. Daily routines, continual struggles, weariness, and the ever increasing pace of life just seem to put me into a spiritual sleep. This call to wake up really has my attention today. So what are some areas which beckon my attention?

Application:
Your still young. You have plenty of time. I'll stop and get cleaned up soon. I'm still learning. I just don't know what I would say. I need to study some more. I have so many questions I need answered first.

I have nursed all these questions. The common thread in all of them is the empty promise that there is plenty of time to do the right thing. The call I sense today is that I need to live with a sense of urgency regarding doing the right thing. As I think back over the times I have fell victim to the lies listed above, I realize just how much I have lost in my life because I messed around and drug my feet on doing what I knew I needed to do.

Its my only vice. I'm not perfect. Can't help but looking. I want to be angry for a while. I deserve better. I'm desperate for something. I just want to live. Its not that bad. That should not have happened to me. I know I shouldn't, but…


Excuses. I hear them everyday. Living a moral life in the world we live in is crazy hard. The world offers so much. Anything I could possibly desire is only a few clicks away. The big three of the flesh, drunkenness, sexual promiscuity, and strife and jealousy; have chased me for most of my life and continue to chase me now. God has brought me through much and the transformation I have experienced is incredible. But I also face the daily reality that I am only a couple choices away from being right back where I started. Flirting with sinful thoughts or tolerating things that should not be must stop.

Prayer:
Honor. That is the word that is stirring in my heart today. I want to be a man of honor. A man who honors his God. A man who honors his family. A man who honors justice. A man who honors integrity. A man who honors wisdom and truth.
When my time has passed and I leave this world, that is the legacy I want to leave behind.

I need Your help today in living according to the code of honor You have provided. Help me to abandon all reservations and live as a free man today. Help me to offer love to those who tempt me with strife. Help me find wisdom in the midst of chaos. Help me to extinguish sinful thoughts that linger in my flesh and mind. Help me move past personal hang ups that drag me down. Create inside of me a God sized sense of urgency regarding doing the right thing.

I want to clothe myself in Christ today and make no provision for my flesh. I want to live as one that is alive! Not one that is dead. Life is too stinking short to waste it. Help me today to grab my time and drink deep of it. The world is dying and I have wasted too much time contributing to its demise. Help me today be all that You desire me to be.

Facing Adversity

Scripture:
"So that no one would be disturbed by these afflictions; for you yourselves know that we have been destined for this." 1 Thessalonians 3:3

Observation:
Affliction is defined as a state of pain, distress, or grief; misery. In the context of this passage, Paul is speaking to the church in Thessalonica. This church was doing quite well and the purpose of the letter was to encourage them and build them up.

Paul was afraid that the early church would be discouraged by what was happening to him and the other apostles. Persecution was widespread. For the early believers this would communicate a message to them that hard times were on the way. In the midst of the inevitable, impending struggles; it would have been easy for this group to fall away.

They did not. They held firm to their faith in the midst of all that they were seeing and experiencing. They chose to act out of love and faith even though the results did not seem to be very promising.

Application:
I like to win. It does not matter what the activity is, I want to be compared to someone and be declared the winner. My competitive nature drives me to succeed. It also gets me in a lot of trouble.

When I read passages like this I do not walk away all that fired up. Losing stinks. There are many clichés out there designed to make people feel better about losing. Statements such as, "it does not matter how you play the game" exists in all shapes and forms. These statements do not really work for me. In the end the only thing that I care about is did I win.

That is what makes struggles so difficult for me. My pride makes struggling through something really difficult. I want to beat it. I want to have victory. Learning to be ok in the midst of struggles is a major area of growth for me.

Prayer:
You know me. I believe that when You knitted me together in the my mother's womb, You knew exactly how I would turn out. You know my stubbornness, my pride, my tendencies to seek pleasure, and every other weakness in my life. You also know my love of life, my drive, and my willingness to learn.

I am thankful today that when You look at me, You see the whole package. The good and the bad. The right and the wrong. The strong and the weak. The sinful and the holy. Most importantly, when you look at me You see the saving work of Your Son.

I ask today that You allow me to fully realize the freedom that is found in Christ. I am often overrun by the struggles of life that I observe around me. I see the good side losing to the bad and it really steals away my joy.

When my joy leaves I become irritable. I tear into those around me. I start seeking things to make me feel better for things that promise to bring escape. I become more of a consumer than a giver and I, in my self-centeredness, lose sight of the greater work taking place around me.

I ask for the inverse of these things to be true in my life. When struggles rock my world and I am tempted to be irritable, I pray that You teach me to give the best of me that I have to offer to those around me. Instead of seeking to escape the storms of life, I want to be a beacon of light to others in the same storm. Instead of spending my energies by consuming things that will make me feel better, I ask that You teach me to invest in the lives of others. Instead of getting stuck in a pity party regarding how bad things are working out for me, I ask that You teach me to be encouraged by the work that You are doing in the lives of others.

Contentment

Scripture:
"My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will." Matthew 26:39

Observation:
It was a dark and lonely place. With each step, the burden of what was to be grew heavier upon Him. Finally, once He could walk no further, He fell. He did not trip. He did not kneel. He collapsed on His face in prayer.

In the moments that would follow, the words uttered from the mouth of Jesus would set forever set the bar for contentment.

Application:
Contentment. For me, I think that arriving at a place of understanding this simple word is among the most difficult of tasks. Discontentment is as easy to find as a noisy three year old in a quiet library. Contentment on the other hand is like searching for a needle in a haystack.

Be that as it may, contentment is a core characteristic in the life of Christ and therefore is a commandment for me to follow. As I read this passage, there are a few things that stick out to me about Contentment.

First, contentment is not an absence of ambition. Jesus was one of the most ambitious people that I have ever known. As I study His life, I am taken back by just how hard a worker He was. Up early, up late and constantly pursuing His mission is the life that I see modeled for Him. He was not content to just sit back and watch things. He pushed Himself to His limits. As I filter contentment through this lens, I see it more as a decision to be ok with the fact that life requires work. I will always have to push myself. The mission for my life will demand high levels of energy and God has called me to go at it with all that is in me. That is the part I need to work on. There are many days that I wake up and silently wish things were not so tough. There are many nights I fight tension created by the seemingly never ending demands of life. In these moments, I am tempted to be really discontent. I want an easy button. But that is not life. Life is about ambitious endeavors and the relentless pursuit of their promise.

Second, contentment is not the absence of dread. Jesus point blank asked God to take away the cross. He dreaded it. There are certain types of shirts that generate high levels of static electricity when I wear them in my truck. Upon parking my truck when I wear such shirts, I sit in dread over the jolt I receive every time I shut my door. I mean I seriously dread it. Given that is just a simple little snap that really does not hurt, I just can't imagine what Jesus was feeling. That is what I love about this prayer. He did not hide from His Father. He spoke clearly about not wanting to do it. Then, He resides Himself to do what God is asking, regardless. In this light, contentment is accepting things as they are. It is finding the resolve inside to be ok with struggling through a painful event; even if I dread it. There are so many times that I just want a situation to go away. In those moments, I will put off confronting the situation in hopes that it will just go away. I often get angry when it does not. I need to learn to be ok with the fact that the mission of my life will often carry me into the teeth of a storm I would rather dodge.

Prayer:
Father, there are cups in my life that I do not want to face. There are many areas of my life that do not meet my expectations. I often find myself torn between the desire to be grateful for what I have the great ambition that I have to become more. Contentment is not something that comes to me naturally; yet it is the thing that I desperately seek. I ask that You teach me to walk in contentment. Even when I walk into situations that are not my preference or choice, help me to find satisfaction in the hard work of obedience.

Boldness

Scripture:
"Simon Peter answered, 'You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.' And Jesus answered him, 'Blessed are You, Simon Barjona, because flesh and blood did not reveal this to you, but My Father who is in heaven.'" Matthew 16:18

Observation:
It was a bold statement that Peter made. It is easy to miss out of the fact that the disciples missed out on who Jesus was. I am sure that in this moment, they were glued to the words out of Jesus' mouth as they hoped to hear clearly about who he was. Then He asked a question that surely jolted them, “who do you say I am?”

The words had to ring out in their ears. Hesitation had to be tempting as the silence grew deafening. Then Peter blurts it out. In a moment of boldness he claimed Jesus to be what he believed Him to be in his heart.

Application:
Boldness does not come from contrived thoughts or the teaching of others. Boldness springs forth from thoughts I own. It spouts from the seeds planted in my own heart by God Himself.

That is the beauty of this passage. Peter did not hear a message listing twenty-one reasons why Jesus is the Christ. God revealed it to him.

Prayer:
Father, as this passage circles around in my mind, I am convicted by my own laziness. It is easier to sit through a great message and learn something about You that it is to seek You on my own.

I am reminded today of just how important it is for You to teach me directly. I ask that You teach me to be mentored by other men, but to not allow that to be a surrogate for learning from You directly.

I ask that You take control of the quiet times that I spend with You and begin to teach me the things that You desire for me to know and be bold about. Protect me from self-deception and allow me to discern between what is You and what is me. Open the doors of my heart and fill it with every good revelation You desire for me to own.

Greatness of Thought

Scripture:
"Get behind be Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me; for you are not setting your mind on God's interest, but man's." Matthew 16:23

Observation:
Peter filtered his emotions through his own thoughts of God. By doing so, he was limited to his capacity to understand the things of God.

Application:
It is impossible to miss the fact that all the great men whose stories unfold on the pages of the Bible had incredible thoughts about God. Their interests were focused on things that were impossible for them to accomplish. Many times, they were sent on a mission that was not all that pleasant. They faced rejection, humiliation, persecution, physical torture and even death; yet these men maintained their ability to articulate great thoughts of God.

When I survey my on thoughts, I am ashamed to say what I find. My thoughts are not great. My thoughts are not even that good. In fact, my thoughts are not really thoughts; their questions. My ability to think great thoughts of God is strictly limited by my ability to get my mind around the questions that I have. Often when I find myself thinking about the greatness of God, I get lost in the how, why, and when’s of life.

The torture of these moments is that I know God enough that I can never walk away from my beliefs. Yet in still, my questions lead to doubts which can make believing really difficult. In these moments, I find myself torn between my doubts and beliefs just like a man strapped to two stallions pulling in opposite directions.

Prayer:
This prayer scares me a little. It actually scares me a lot. But I need to be honest with You. Sense You already know my thoughts it is really silly to fear sharing them, but it is hard all the same.

When I try to think great thoughts of You, I get lost. I either feel like I am forcing something or it starts me down a path of questioning that leads me to sitting in a maze of dead ends. Try as I may; I just never seem to be able to open my mind to the realities of just how great You are.

The scary part of this prayer is letting go, but I need for You to take over my thoughts. Teach me to pray. Teach me to think. Open my eyes to the fullness of Your majesty and power. Allow my life to be transformed by my impression of Your greatness. I ask today that You destroy every false thought I have and replace it with something that is bigger than anything I could come up with on my own.

Energy

Scripture:
"Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a merchant seeking fine pearls, and upon finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it." Matthew 13:45

Observation:
Energy. As I read this passage of scripture that is the thing that sticks out to me. The passage paints a picture of what happens when we find the truth that God has for us. It is a discovery that energizes the soul to the point where everything else in our life is considered as barter to pursue the glimpse of heaven we find.

Application:
Energy and motivation should always accompany my walk with God. Walking through the book of Matthew, I notice this in the lives of the people who met Jesus versus those who just encountered Him. Those who simply encountered Jesus went on their way. But those who met Jesus, those who truly met the core of who He was and caught a glimpse of the Father through him, those people were filled with the energy and motivation required to abandon all that was in their life in order to pursue the things that were available through Christ.

Prayer:
The cry of my heart today is that I not be content to just encounter You. I want to be introduced to the core of who You are. I desire for every fiber of my being to be energized as I come to realize the full weight of who You are.

My laziness and the lustfulness of my flesh often serve as anchors that prevent me from moving to follow You. I pray that in moments when I find myself tempted by these two enemies that You move upon my heart in a way that is real.
Nothing in me is content to be a religious man. There is nothing remotely attractive about that to me. I desire to be a life on fire; one that walks with Yahweh and is known by Him. I desire to be a reflection to the world of something heavenly.

My Desire

Scripture:

"And Jesus said to the centurion, 'Go, it shall be done for you as you have believed.' And the servant was healed that very moment." Matthew 8:13

Observation:
This is a short story. It only covers 9 verses, but in them is a wealth of lessons to learn. The centurion was definitely in a seat of honor. He was a commander of the Roman army. He was a man that did not need to go see someone. If he had any interest, he would just send for someone to come see him. Here, in this story, we see him approach Christ in all humility and beg him to act on behalf of his servant. In doing so, he explains what he believes to be true of Christ. At the end of his dissertation, Jesus claims this man's faith to be greater than any he has seen.

Application:
This passage is particularly challenging to me. I feel like many times I pray for God to move or act SO THAT my faith can be strengthened. As I read tonight, I sense from God a conviction in this area.

My faith in God should not be establish based on my history. It needs to rest solely on what I know of God. It is totally sensible to expect God to move and for my faith to be strengthened as He moves on my behalf. That said, faith must come before the movement.

I am reminded tonight that I do not need to wait until a challenging situation comes along to seek to understand God. I need to live on the edge. I need to live ready. Every minute of every hour of every day should be spent preparing myself for taking the next steps that God has for me. Faith is always easier to establish on the front end than it is to establish it on the backside of trouble.

Prayer:
Tonight, as we pulled up to the condo, I realized I was vulnerable. Being on vacation is great. The break from normal life is a welcomed change of pace. But I should never take a break from seeking You.

For the past couple days, I have set You aside. I have still read my Bible and prayed to You, but I have not really sought You. You have definitely not been my top priority.

I simply ask Your forgiveness. I have neglected Your fellowship and I feel lonely. The absence of Your tangible presence in my life feels as if the very life of my soul has been stripped away. There is no place I would rather be in this moment, nothing I would rather be doing, other than sitting at Your feet and sensing Your manifest presence before me.

I ask that You move upon my heart tonight and teach me how to maintain my pursuit of You. Even when I get tired. Even when my mind is exhausted. Even when my flesh cries out for entertaining. Regardless of what internal desires tempt me, I ask that nothing compete with my fellowship with You.

At the end of the day, this is my desire: To know You and be known by You. When the world around me threatens to fall apart, I ask that my faith be found sufficient to carry me through.

The Light Inside

Scripture:
"Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven." Matthew 5:16

Observation:
Jesus compares the work of God inside of me as a light to the world. Lights have to shine. They make no sense or serve no purpose if they are not shining.

Application:
I have a choice. God has planted something beautiful inside of me. He intends for me to tend to it. When I think about light in the time of Christ, I am reminded that the only source of manufactured light in the time of Christ was the flame of a fire. Fire has to be cared for. You must choose to tend to it or it will be extinguished. This is the same for my faith. I must choose to care for it, or it will be useless.

I have a mission. "That they", those are the words of Christ. He did not say, "So that you". God does do things for me on an individual basis. Everything that He provides me is designed to give Him glory and bring hope to the lost. He gives me peace, joy, hope, possessions, family, success, and all the other wonderful things that fill my life; but He gives them to me in context of the mission of my calling.

I have a caution. "In such a way." This caution is so subtle that I almost missed it. My motives, attitudes, and demeanor matter. Sharing my faith with others is of no use if it is done so in a manner that prevents them from giving God glory. Then I have failed. The light of Christ is not intrusive. It is not arrogant. It is not self-serving. It can not be manufactured. The true light of Christ is a byproduct of me living my life in obedience to Him.

Prayer:
It is easy sometimes to forget that bringing your light into the world has never been easy. Ever sense Adam fell to sin in the garden, Satan has been busy building a world designed to fight against that light. More than anything in my life, I desire to see this light shine inside of me. I want the product of my life to reflect You to the world in a manner that gives You glory. I pray that my heart be ever more burdened for the mission to which I have been called. Guide my choices today and I pray that every decision I make will brighten the light You have entrusted to me.

A Man to Be

Scripture:
"And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly." Matthew 1:19

Observation:
He could have destroyed her. Literally, stoning was the consequence of a woman being found pregnant outside of wedlock. In the days and times that Joseph lived, he could have literally destroyed her in public, ruined her chance at a normal life and had her stoned to death.

He had to be hurt. The woman engaged to him suddenly turned up pregnant. He had not had sex with her, so he knew it was not him. I just can't imagine the pain this caused him. The humiliation. The anger. Yet, these words penned by Matthew sit shining on the page like a beautiful diamond, "being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her…"

This is one of the most beautiful pictures of a man laying aside his personal rights in order to preserve his righteousness.

Application:
There is a line in one of my favorite songs by Credence Clearwater Revival that says, "It ain't me, it ain't me." As I look over this brief glimpse of the character that made up Joseph's life the words of that song accurately reflect my honest comparison of myself to Joseph. The scriptures do not say much about Joseph, but the ones that do, speak volumes about the man chosen to the earthly father of Jesus and paint an a amazing picture of a man I should strive to be.

Prayer:
There is no need in me denying what I would have done in this situation. My flesh and my pride would have gotten the best of me. I would have acted out of hurt and would have disgraced an innocent woman. This realization scares me a bit as I feel the weight of my own guilt.

I need to change. The pride of life has a strong grip on me. I read this passage and I ask that you make me a righteous man. One who is humble enough to deny himself. One that is pure enough in motive to realize that being right does not make him righteous.
Even in moments when someone cuts me the deepest in the core of my being, help me to seek ways to offer grace. I pray that in those moments You minister to me through the Holy Spirit. I ask for tangible moments with You that will serve as affirmation to what You are asking me to do. Minister to me in my moments of hurt so that I may become a vessel of grace to others.

Weakness

Scripture:
"And he has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Observation:
Weakness. There is nothing attractive about that word. I do not even like the way that it looks as I write it on paper. The world is designed to eliminate weaknesses. Just about every product on the market today is designed to satisfy, strengthen, or avoid a weakness in human nature.

Application:
That is what makes this verse so backwards to me. I want to focus on my strengths. I want God to make me strong BEFORE I do something so that I will have the confidence to do what needs to be done. But Paul does not say that Christ's power is perfected in my strength, it says it is perfected in my weakness.

As I sit with this verse this morning, I am reminded that I will never feel strong enough to handle God's call on my life. His invitation will often feel like it is outside my gift, beyond my knowledge, or against odds that can’t be overcome. This scripture reminds me that I will never feel comfortable in my own ability to do something for God.

Prayer:
There are many days that I go to bed at night feeling like I am naturally gifted at being weak. I often feel as if the walls of my faith contain more holes than do they bricks. I can't speak eloquently. I am very insecure. I have a hot temper. My life is full of chaos. I am tempted by things and I often fall to the same ones. Conflict seems to find me where ever I go. I pray for things to happen and they don't. I pray against things and they still occur.

While weaknesses are not hard for me to find, the attitude displayed by Paul in this passage is. My weaknesses seem to push me away from You; not draw me closer. My weaknesses seem to steal Your power from my life; not perfect it.

There are a few weak areas that I ask for Your help with today. Help be to rejoice today, even when I feel tempted to sulk. Help me to be made complete today, even when my flesh tells me I need something else. Allow me to find comfort today even while the battle grows in violence. Help me to be likeminded with others, even when we seem miles apart. Teach me to walk in peace, even when the flame of my anger burns hot.

In all things, I ask that Your grace, love and fellowship be made full in my life today.

Lessons to Learn

Scripture:
"Nevertheless, with most of them God was not well pleased; for they were laid low in the wilderness." 1 Corinthians 10:5

Observation:
The power of a sign. So many people ask for it. So many long for it. "Give me a sign!" I wonder just how many times those words have rang out from the mouths of hurting people searching for God and asking for a tangible sign that He was in fact there and working on their behalf. It seems so logical. If God would just do something that revealed Himself, then it would be easier to follow.

Logical as it may seem, the story of the Israelites coming out of Egypt serves as an example that signs and wonders do not make following God any easier. No group of people in the history of the world have experienced more signs and wonders. The stories captured beginning in Exodus chapter 13 are mind boggling. Every single day the people of Israel were the recipients of a tangible sign from God, yet many of them chose to not submit to God.

Application:
As much as I would like to think that I am somehow different and that I would really benefit from God showing me some love by revealing himself to me, I am not. I am the same as the people noted in the scripture. I can't even remember all the times that I have prayed to God saying, "If you would only ____ then I would _____." Many times, God filled in His blank only to watch me leave mine blank.

Instead of searching for signs to help me get started, I think I am better served learning from the mistakes made by my forefathers. Paul notes the primary ones here in Chapter 10 of 1 Corinthians verses 7 - 10.

Prayer:
Your Word is quite clear that I am to not serve idols. Serving a statue seems quite silly to me, but when I really think about the definition of an idol, I realize that my life is full of them. It is so hard to keep You first. Money should not be my idol, yet the necessity of survival is so real it makes it easy to put it first. My wife and family should not be my idol, yet their presence in my life and my love for them makes it easy for them to be first. My work should not be my idol, yet the pressures of it and my fear of failing in it seem to force it to the top of the list. I do confess to You this morning that I am guilty of serving many things other than You.

Your word says that we should not act immorally. The world that I live in is full of immorality. I am constantly offered opportunities that are outside of the commands of Your word and many times I fall. I slip, fall and intentionally walk away from You quite often. I am so very grateful for Your grace, but God I ask that You teach me to resist the things that constantly pursue me. Give me rest from the longings that consistently drag me away.

Your word says that we should not try You. Moments of doubt will inevitably come. I am so grateful for the openness that I share with You in those moments and that You have always come around me and helped strengthen me. But Father there are times that I look at something I know You have called me to and I question the goodness of that plan. I pray that You forgive me for that. I do not want the pain of circumstances to cause me to disagree with Your goodness.

Your word says to not grumble. Man, this one gets me. There are plenty of Biblical examples of men calling out to You in acceptable ways. I love to read the Psalms because of the way David honestly addressed You with how he was feeling. But in all the things David said, he always submitted to Your goodness. He never grumbled. I, on the other hand, tend to grumble. I get angry at You. I reach a point where I do not feel You move at a pace that satisfies me and it ticks me off. I desire more than anything to grow in this area. Teach me to have a grateful heart.

In all these things I rest not on my own behavior, for I have clearly proven myself to be an idiot, but I rest on Your grace to me through Christ. My only hope and peace is that You view me as holy through Him. Help me to be patient with myself as You continue the work of molding my life into the plans You have set for me.

A Tricky Act to Balance

Scripture:
"Now concerning things sacrificed to idols, we know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge makes arrogant, but love edifies." 1 Corinthians 8:1

Observation:
Roman and Greek society had many gods to worship and demons to fear. A central part of this worship included food sacrificed to idols. A person would sacrifice food to gain favor from a god or to remove evil spirits that were attached to it. The food was then prepared and served in pagan feasts. The leftovers were sold in the market place.

In the early church, this created a controversy. Those who had knowledge knew that there were no other gods and did not fear demonic forces. For them to eat food sacrificed idols meant nothing. It did not affect them at all. Those who were weak in their beliefs reacted in one of two ways. They either felt like eating the food defiled them and affected their standing with God or the eating of this food created a longing inside of them for their former life.

Application:
There are a few things in this passage that stick out to me this morning for application to my life. First, I must understand that if the actions of another person cause me confusion, concern, doubt or temptation; I am a weak person. My faith should be strong enough to stand on its own. There are times that I look around at how others are living their life to determine if I am on the right path. That is not fair to other people nor is it healthy to me. I need to live by my own convictions and allow people to live by theirs. This does not mean that we can't confront each other on our behaviors, but it does mean that when that happens each person should return to God's Word in prayer and allow Him to settle the issue.

The second thing that I notice here is that the Christian life requires a whole lot of love. My heart has to be broken for other people. It angers me when I am falsely judged by others. I mean it really ticks me off. But as I read this passage this morning, I notice something in Paul. The driving force in his life was his love for other people. He wanted them to know Jesus and his love compelled him to do whatever it took to point people in that direction. If this meant cutting out a sinless activity from his life in order to not cause confusion he did it.

Prayer:
Love for You and love for others is not the driving force in my life. The honest conviction I feel this morning is my own personal satisfaction and contentment is what motivates me the most. That is not as You intended it to be and I confess it to You this morning as sin. I also confess to You that I am helpless to change this. I beg this morning for You to move in my life and break my heart for the people in my life. Give me a burden to see those outside of Your grace come to know You and give me the strength to not be frustrated by the weaker Christians who judge me.

I often look too others to confirm the convictions that You have placed in my heart. This also is not as You have intended it to be and I confess it to You as a weakness in my life. I pray for wisdom to understand how to allow others to speak into my life, but to not allow them to become a god to me. I want to be humble enough to accept instruction, but I do not want my acceptance by You to be affected by the opinion of others.

Finding the balance in these things is a tricky act. It is one that I can't do on my own. I always seem to err on the extreme sides. I do not want the approval of man to have any affect on how I live my life. I also do not want to be come calloused to the affect my life has on others watching me. You alone are God in my life. I pray that You give me the love, patience knowledge, and wisdom I need to apply these things to my life.

True Calling

Scripture:
"For consider your calling, Brethren…" 1 Corinthians 1:26

Observation:
In the Christian life, it is sometimes tempting to stop at personal salvation. It is almost like once we have our ticket to heaven punched, complacency kicks in and we set our lives on cruise. The gift of salvation is an amazing thing and an eternity in heaven is quite a "perk", but there is so much more. God's offer of salvation did not just rescue me from hell, it included a higher calling of living for my life in service to others.

So this verse challenges me to consider my calling. The first two chapters of 1 Corinthians contain a wealth of things to consider about my calling.

Application:
First, I am a saint. I look at those words on this screen and I feel uncomfortable about them. In chapter 1:2 Paul refers to the recipients of this letter as "saints by calling". That is crazy to me. My past and present are full of many reminders of just how un-saintly I can behave, but my behavior is no longer an issue. Once I accepted Christ, His grace sanctified me. I am blameless.

Second, I have a mission. In these two chapters it is hard to miss the fact that Paul models what Christ said in Matthew 28:19 and Acts 2:8; "Go spread the good news and make disciples." That is a universal call to every believer. There are times that I feel I need to study or get ready, but when I read these verses I am reminded that I will never be ready. I will never be comfortable with this part of my calling. I have to just step out in the simplicity of my own speech, with much fear, and share the story of what God has done and is doing in my life.

Third, I need to remember that I was enriched in Christ. God starts with the most simple of people. In chapter 1:26, Paul reminds the church to look around at themselves. There were not many people who would make logical choices for the mission of God. In order to make sure that people know it was God, He very often picks unlikely candidates to entrust with His purposes. Once I made the choice to trust Christ as my Savior, I became enriched. He added something to me that I could not have on my own. My life now is not limited by my deficiencies.

Finally, I need to remember that in chapter 1:3 Paul points out that I am not lacking any gift. One of the current trends in the church today is the teaching of spiritual gifts. There are may resources that help you identify how God has gifted you for service. I think these tools are great, but I also think they are dangerous. It is tempting to sometimes excuse myself from certain things simply because I am not "gifted" to do them. As logical as that may seem, it is also equally false. There are core gifts that are just a part of how God has wired me, but there are also times that God chooses to send me into something that will totally depend on him showing up for me to succeed.

Prayer:
I have a purpose. My life has meaning. This morning has been an incredible reminder of that. Please help me to never lose sight of that. As long as there is breath in me, I ask that my life be used in impacting the lives of others for Your purpose. I ask that You allow the truths outlined in these passages from Your Word to become the call of my heart and the very fabric of my being.

Child of Blessing

Scripture:
"In order that in Christ Jesus the blessing of Abraham might come to the Gentiles, so that we would receive the promise of the Spirit through faith." Galatians 3:14

Observation:
Christ paid the price so that the blessing promised to Abraham would come to all the people of the world and so that we would receive the promised Spirit through faith.

Application:
It does not take very long when I read the books of the New Testament to realize that the work Jesus completed on the cross was not just a good thing.

Blessing. Promise. Hope. Good news. Words such as these liter the pages of the Bible. People were risking life and liberty for the JOY of their relationship with Jesus. They forsook everything that they knew and became outcasts of their society to follow the teaching of the apostles.

When I examine my own life I am challenged by this. It often feels like I more of a struggle for me. It is like I waste my energy pursuing something that I feel like I can’t achieved.
There are days when my honestly struggle to not get discouraged. To not feel condemned.

That is not how God wants it to be. The coolest thing about God is that He does not view me as work in progress. He views me as being complete. Not because my lifestyle is perfect, far from it. My inability to live up to the standards of God is precisely why God sent Jesus into the world. He established a new law. A good law. One that only requires faith to make a person whole. It no longer has anything to do with my performance.

My faith does not excuse my sin; it removes it. Gone. Never happened. Done away with. Jesus bore the burden of all my sin on the cross. Sins of my past, sins of my present, and the sins of my future are all covered. Every blessing of the Bible has been sealed on my life.

Prayer:
I know my ways. I understand my struggles. It is rare that I come up with a new one as the things to which I fall to are things that I have fallen to for many years. That is the most amazing thing about Your grace. It is new each day; even when I need it for a repeat of the same old mistakes.

While I have been made complete in Christ, I realize that I will never be complete on earth. Each day presents to me an opportunity to move closer to the day that I will find the completeness that is to come in the life that follows.

Help me to walk in freedom. When guilt and condemnation follow me around; I want to know Your good news. I have wasted so much time trying to earn something that You have already given to me. Help me to live my life as a child of blessing. Help the reality of that sink deep into the core of who I am. Help me to extend the reality of that great love to others around me. I present myself to You tonight and ask that I be a vessel that is poured out on others.

Healthy Fear

Scripture:
"And to man He said, 'Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding.'" Job 28:28

Observation:
I often struggle with understanding the fear of the Lord. I have heard it explained many ways. The word used is not interpreted as in fear of getting in trouble or fear of punishment. It is fear as in a dread of causing offense or fear as in awe and wonder.

To me it is the same type of fear that I have of my kids. It sounds funny to say, but I fear my kids. When I look at my children, I am filled with wonder and awe. There are moments when I could spend hours just watching them play. The thought of maliciously doing something that would hurt them, disappoint them or in anyway cause them displeasure cuts me to my core.

That is the type of fear of which this verse is speaking. Job is saying that being broken at the thought of hurting the Lord is wisdom. And the sign of that brokenness being evident in someone's life is that they depart from evil; not because they fear consequences, but because they can't stand the thought of causing God to hurt.

Application:
The tough thing with this passage is that it is not something I can just do. It is something that results from my relationship with God. This morning, I am acutely aware of the fact that I am lacking wisdom. I fear God, but not in the manner outlined in this verse. I fear him more like a child fears a principle.

Prayer:
My heart does not belong to You as it should. I definitely love You and pursue You daily, but I feel convicted this morning. My pursuit of You has more to do with seeking Your blessing than it has to do with my love for You. It has more to do with staying out of trouble than it has to do with not causing You pain.

I want to change. Fear of getting in trouble has never served as a very effective deterrent for me. I loath rules and often carry contempt for those who enforce them. At times, that is how I feel about my relationship with You. It stinks to live that way, but it is often my reality.

All that I know to do is come before You this morning, acknowledge my mistakes, and express a desire to do things differently going forward. I ask in this moment that You come alongside me in a manner that I have never experienced. I ask that I be able to be with You in a way that is real. Real enough that the thought of causing You pain disturbs me at my very core.

It's Never Too Late

Scripture:
"and he gathered up courage and went in before Pilate, and asked for the body of Jesus." Mark 15:43

Observation:
He was there. The scriptures say that Joseph was not just a member of the council that decided to crucify Christ, he was a prominent member. Luke, in his gospel, notes that he was not in favor of their plan. There is no way to know what was said and how the meeting went, but we know enough to know that to some level Joseph held back his true beliefs about Jesus.

That had to haunt him. As the events leading up to the death of Christ played out, the torment in Joseph's mind had to grow. I can only imagine the questions that would have been playing over in his mind. The second guesses. The doubts. The shame. He must have agonized over the end result of the body to which he played such a prominent role.

Joseph found himself in a tough place. An opportunity had passed. A man was dead. His entire life now teetered on the edge. The decisions he would make in this moment stood to shape the balance of his life. What would he do? Go back to the council and repress his feelings? Cast his lot for a man that had already been killed? Neither option carried any promise.

The wording of this verse says it all to me when it notes that "he gathered up courage and went in before Pilate."

Application:
Life gets complicated. Seemingly insignificant decisions start a chain reaction of events that starts me down a path that can ultimately carry me to a place I never imagined I would find myself in.

This story of Joseph reminds me that it is never too late to do the right thing. There comes a day when I have to push aside my fear, guilt, and shame; pull myself up by my bootstraps; and then make things right.

Prayer:
I am so very grateful that it is never to late for me to make the right choice. Your word promises that Your mercies are new each day. I also know that through Christ, my sins are already covered. Still, I often find myself sitting in a puddle of mess of my own doing, searching for the strength to carry on.

You have taught me a lot in these moments. Looking back, every turning point in my life came as a result of me, like Joseph, gathering up my courage and following after what You put on my heart to do.

All my mistakes have been taken away and I live with no regrets. There are many things I am not proud of and if given a second chance I would do things differently, but I rest in Your Grace and as a result live free of my past.

That said, I hate learning that way. It is painful and destructive. I ask that You speak clearly to me and remind me that it is always better to find my courage before it is scattered by my bad choices. Following You is easier when my first answer is yes.

Risk Management

Scripture:
"And He took with Him Peter and James and John, and began to be very distressed and troubled." Mark 14:33

Observation:
It is easy to forget sometimes that Jesus was fully man. He felt every emotion that humans feel. Fear. Pain. Anguish. Torment. No feeling was beyond Him.

As Jesus sat in the garden that night He could see all that was coming. One of His twelve would betray Him. Those who remained would be scattered, persecuted and eventually most of them would be killed. His body would be marred, beaten, and eventually hung on a cross until suffocation stole the breath of his lungs. The weight of the world's sin would literally be placed on Him and He would be outside of the fellowship of His Father for the first time.

Knowing that he was fully man and as such felt all human emotions, I just can't fathom the thoughts that He must have been experiencing. My entire life is built around avoiding loss. From the contents of my house to my own life, everything is protected. I do all that I can to avoid risk, exposure, pain, or loss on any front.

Application:
As I study this passage this morning I sense a few things that I can take as lessons. First, I must learn to value obedience to God. If I am honest with myself I struggle with obedience more than do I value it. Here is a simple example. In the heat of the moment, when I am good and ticked off, I hear a still small voice telling me to let go of my argument and forgive the other person even though they are wrong. In this situation I do not react with joy at the sound of that small voice. I get irritated. I throw a fit. Most of the time, I just disobey it and ask for forgiveness later. But Jesus was different. He truly valued obedience as being the better thing. That is the level of obedience God desires for me.

Second thing that I feel I can take away from this passage is honest prayers. Growing up in church brought many good things in my life, but it also brought many struggles. One of the greatest struggles that the tradition of religion brought upon me was all the fake prayers I heard offered. People talked differently when they prayed. They used words that were uncommon and phrases that were unfamiliar. I naturally picked up on this model and struggle with it still today. As I read this passage this morning, I see a different type of prayer. Jesus did not hold back. He called out to God and told Him exactly what he felt. Raw, unfiltered emotion poured out from Him to His father regarding the events that were coming His way. Then He did something amazing, He surrendered to God's will. That is the essence of true prayer.

The final lesson that I can take away from this passage is the reminder that I can't live on the prayers of others. Jesus took with Him His closest three companions to pray with Him, but they could not sustain their prayers. Three times He checked on them and three times He found them asleep. While His soul has anguished and He cried out to God, His friends slept. As bad as that sounds, it is reality. It is unrealistic for me to expect other people to be able to pray for something in my life with the same level of emotion and intensity that I can pray over my own situation. While it is good to seek others to pray with me, I must make sure that this does not become a surrogate for me praying for myself.

Prayer:
It is amazing to me that I have the ability to connect with You as I do. There is no fear. No condemnation. No thought of what I need to say. Every time I pray I have the opportunity to pour out my heart before You without worry. That just blows my mind as I do not have that freedom in any other relationship. I ask this morning that you help me apply the lessons You gave to me this morning. You know me better than I know myself and so You know how far I am away from feeling that obedience is the better choice. It is an ugly truth of my life and the only way for me to get away from it is that You guide me.

While I do not struggle with praying to You honestly, I do struggle with surrendering to Your will in the end. I want things to turn out the way I want them to be. I ask that you help me lay down all that is within me to seek Your will in my life. Teach me to pray through things and to stop praying for escape from things.

In all that I do today I desire to do thing with a pure heart, securely grounded in Your will, and with absolute clarity of purpose.

Building Blocks

Scripture:
"Six days later, Jesus took with Him Peter and James and John, and brought them up on a high mountain by themselves. And He was transfigured before them." Mark 9:2

Observation:
Following the lives of the disciples is an incredible journey for me. Jesus literally scraped the bottom of the barrel with His ministry and surrounded Himself with a team of very unlikely men and women. Everyday these people walked after Jesus they experienced something new. Each moment offered them the opportunity to walk deeper or to step away.

Application:
I settle for too little of God. I need to more of Him than I am getting. So how do I do that? What needs to shift in my life in order for my image of God to be transfigured before me?

I think that it starts with the basic building block of staying connected with God. I am good at getting up early and carving out my quiet time. I study the Word, write my journal, pray and then roll with my day. There is a transition that happens around six o'clock every morning when I put down my Bible and begin getting my family up and going for the day. It almost feels like I leave God sitting in the club chair where I pray and head out without Him. For some reason, it is hard to keep connected with Him as I wrestle against the clock and attempt to accomplish all that is on my plate for the day. My life needs to shift in this area.

I think the next block I need to evaluate is the time I spend with Him. Many days, the only alone time I have with God is the time I spend from 5 - 6 in the morning. Just how much of God do I think I can get in an hour? This needs to change on a couple levels. First, I just need to be intentional throughout the day to pause and pray. My days are crazy. The demands created by a staff of more than 50 and the couple thousand volunteers I oversee creates more than I can reasonably complete. The success I have depends totally upon my ability to lead in obedience to God. I can't bet my success on an hour alone with God. Second, I need to carve out some intentional times to be alone with God. Throughout Jesus' ministry I see Him modeling the importance of getting away to lonely places which are free of distractions and just connecting with God.

I think that the last block I need to evaluate is my mission. Jesus was totally surrendered to God's mission for his life. Jesus' disciples surrendered to the best of their ability to the same mission. The question for me becomes whose mission am I serving? I have a tendency to ask God to be a part of my mission and not really seek after His. I want God to come along side of me and help me succeed with my plans. The call I sense in my spirit this morning is to really fast and pray for clarity around the direction God has for my life and get in alignment with it.

Every moment of everyday represents an opportunity to do something with God. He is constantly at work and I have an open invitation to join him. Surrender for me is moment by moment. It only takes a few decisions and I can find myself making choices I regret.

Prayer:
There is not a single thing listed in this journal that I am capable of doing. I have tried to address these basic three things for years. Help me today to stay connected with You. In a few moments I will put down my Bible, shut down my laptop and start my day. I don't want to leave You behind in that process. I ask that You walk before me. Open my eyes to view my life differently. I ask that You be real enough to me today that I can literally see Your path before me and follow along; staying in constant contact with You and pursuing only Your mission for my day.

Man Versus God

Scripture:
"Neglecting the commandment of God, you hold to the tradition of men." Mark 7:8

Observation:
I have heard it said that Jesus loves the church, but is heart broken over what it has become. I think that there is a lot of truth in that statement. You do not have to spend very much time in church to figure out that man is more about tradition than about following God.

There are a few things on my heart this morning regarding the tradition of man versus the commandment of God.

Application:
The first battle of man's tradition versus God's command is found in Matthew 7:1-5. Tradition of man looks externally for judgment. The command from God is to look inward first. It has often been said that the things we observe in others as being bad are often things about ourselves that we project onto others. That statement carries a lot of weight with me. I must constantly guard against judging. Regardless of what I observe, I must know that the first person who needs to be cleaned up is Jason Hester. He is a mess and there are many things that are not as they should be.

The second battle of the tradition of man versus God's command is found in Matthew 7:7-14. The tradition of man looks for easy answers. The commandment of God is that I pursue truth. God says to ask, seek and knock. Easy answers are wide gates. They are everywhere and many people follow them. I can get up and turn on the TV and find many easy answers to the questions I have or solutions to the things that trouble me. But God's command is different. The truth of God's word says the gate leading to His truth is narrow. That means I have to slow down and pay attention to the answers I get. I also must understand that God's answers are the ones most people are not giving.

The third battle of the tradition of man versus God's command is found in Matthew 7:15-23. The tradition of man focuses on works. The commandment of God focuses on the fruit of a life. Works are easy. I can show up, teach a class, feed the homeless, love on the hurting and many other good things but that does not make me holy. My actions, both good and bad, come second to God. The primary thing that He concerns Himself with is my heart and the fruit of my life. I can fake my works, but not my heart. For instance, I can come home and clean up the house for my wife. That would be considered a good work, but it does not indicate the attitude of my heart while I did it. Maybe I was angry. Maybe I did it out of spite. If I did it with the wrong attitude, it does not benefit anyone.

Prayer:
Storms of life are inevitable. They will come. Relationships will hit hard times. Finances will fail. Eagerness and optimism are constantly attacked by apathy and failure. In those moments, the truth of my life will be revealed. The things in my life that I have built around human tradition and logic are blown away by the storms of life. The only thing left standing are the things in my life that are built on your firm foundation. I ask today that You help me discern the difference between the traditions man created and the commandments You have given.

I also ask that You come alongside me after the storms of life hit and help me to remain calm as I survey the damage. It is easy to get discouraged. There are times I stand with a broken heart as I watch things in my life come unraveled. In those moments I ask that You remind me that it is in those moments that I have the opportunity to start over and rebuild things the right way.

Guide me today as I walk. Keep me from judging others, accepting the easy answer or working with a bad heart. Instead, help me to have a sober opinion of myself, seek the hard answers of truth, and work with a pure heart.

Bound Up Strength

Scripture:
"But no one can enter the strong man's house and plunder his property unless he first binds the strong man, and then he will plunder his property." Mark 3:27

Observation:
In the context of this passage, Jesus is talking about His ability to cast out Satan's demons. But this morning as I converse with God on this passage, I hear Him speaking it to me.

Many times, I am unaware of the binding that Satan has placed around my strengths until I notice the plundering taking place in my life.

Application:
This morning as I woke up and began to pray I really sensed the presence of God reminding me that his mercies are new everyday. That is an incredible sensation. Each day, my slate is cleansed. All I have to do is be willing to humble myself before God and truly confess my sins. Once that takes place God's faithfulness proves worthy of my pursuit as the mistakes I make slip beneath the surface of God's ocean of forgiveness.

But I sometimes forget about one little detail of sin. While God's mercies are new and my sins are no longer held against me; consequences still linger. Oh man do I hate those. I am really no different that my kids in that I always want a free pass.

When I give in to temptation, I allow Satan a foothold in my life. This morning as I think about footholds and view them through the filter of this verse from Mark, I see them in a little different light.

The footholds can come in the form of binding up my ability to defend myself from certain things. Often I am unaware of that this has happened until I have been over run and in affect have had something in my life plundered. In those moments, it is easy to focus my attention on the plundering.

There are four main areas that can be plundered in my life; my spiritual life, my family life, my work life, and my personal life. All hell breaks loose in some of those areas and I often go immediately to the fire and try to put it out. But this is senseless. It is just like squirting water at the tip of the flame versus spraying it at its base.

Prayer:
Life is so fragile. The seemingly insignificant choices that I make often create a chain reaction of events that I never saw coming. In the blink of an eye my reality can be altered and my normal can become forever redefined. I make decisions at such a great pace that it seems impossible to keep track of them all. In a brief moment of weakness, I allow myself to be bound by Satan and grant him access to plunder certain areas of my life.

I ask this morning for a heightened sense of awareness of the things that have me bound. Help me look past the symptoms of my issues and see the true cause of what I face. My mind, will, and emotions often rally against me staying sober in the midst of adversity, but I ask for the strength to overcome these and stay focused on working my way through the things that come at me.

There are areas of my life in which I find my strength is bound up. There are attacks against which I am powerless to resist. I ask this morning that You help me find the bindings which have wrapped up my strength in these areas and teach me to set myself free.

The Me I Used to Be

Scripture:
"No one sews a patch of un-shrunk cloth on an old garment; otherwise the patch pulls away from it, the new from the old, and a worse tear results." Mark 2:21

Observation:
Let's suppose that I have an old coat that I really like. One day a hole appears in this coat. Not just a little, moth sized hole but a huge, my kids got a hold of the scissors size hole. To make matters worse, they did it in the dead of the coldest winter anyone could remember. Every step I made I would be able to fill the cold chill of the winter air penetrating the hole and chilling my body.

Then, out of the blue, a man approaches me and hands me a brand new coat. Not just any coat but a mac-daddy, extreme weather, four-in-one type of coat. Upon returning home with my new coat, would it make any sense whatsoever for me to pull out the same scissors used by kids to destroy my old coat, cut a patch from my new coat, and sew it to the new one?

No, that would be stupid. That is the illustration that Jesus is giving here. The religious people of the day were trying to take what He was doing and apply it to the old law they were living according to.

Application:
I get what God is saying to me this morning, but I am struggling with the application. God is telling me that I am trying to find a new revelation of Him that will help patch up the old me, but that what He wants to do is give me a new me.

Prayer:
Father, I am stuck this morning. I can guess at what you are trying to teach me in the passage from Mark, but it is foolish to do so. Your word instructs me in James 1:5 that if I lack wisdom, ask of You, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to me. That is my prayer to you today.


Your word says in 2 Corinthians 5:17 that I am a new creature, that the old things have passed away and that new things have come. Your Word also says in Ephesians 4:22-24 that, in reference to my former manner of life, I am to lay aside my old self, that I be renewed in the spirit of my mind, and put on the new self.

That is my desire this morning. I do not want to waste any of the life You have given to me trying to patch the old me. The me I used to be is not worth saving. I want to be the new me Your word talks about. Help me to know how to do this.

There are things that I need to lay aside. Hurts, habits and hang-ups are easily identified in my life, but the process of laying them aside it difficult.

I need to be renewed in the spirit of my mind. You gave me a pure heart the day I surrendered to You, but man do I have a messed up head. Some days my mind feels like a library of video tape which continues to plays clips of my past. There are things I have done, places I have been, images I have seen, people I have hurt, and many other things floating around on these tapes. They wear me out. I ask this morning that You teach me how to renew my mind.

Finally I ask that You help me put aside the man I used to be. I am afraid of that man. Memories of him hurt me, yet I fight against returning to him everyday. There are still aspects of my former life that cling to me. There are even days that it is tempting to look back and want to return to him. I need Your help in fully laying aside all that I used to be and in putting on the me You intend for me to be.

Relative to My Normal

Scripture:
"My days are past, my plans are torn apart, even the wishes of my heart." Job 17:11

Observation:
The pain of life is real. There is no escaping it. The place in which Job found himself was totally hopeless. It was a dark season. He lived a blameless life yet he sat and stared at charred remains of everything that he had built his life around. His children; gone. His possessions; spent. His health; stricken. Nothing was left from his normal life. Everything was lost.

Application:
As I read these verses, I can easily slip into the role of Job. I have never experienced anything close to the level of loss Job had to endure, but I have suffered none the less. I think that there are times I am tempted to compare my level of suffering to someone like Job. When I do that, I seem to sell myself short and feel silly for hurting. And there always seems to be someone around me willing to offer the suggestion that it could be worse or that I should count my blessings.

Over the years I have grown to understand that suffering has less to do about the severity of the situation and more to do with how far removed it is from my normal. My definition of normal is the baseline that determines just how much pain I feel from an experience. For instance, a bad day at work for me is compared to what I normally experience. A bad fight with my wife is compared to what I normally experience as normal with her. A bad day with my kids is compared to what my daily interaction normally is with them.

No two people have the same normal and so it is very likely that if I compare myself to others that I will find some people who would tell me that my definition of suffering was light compared to theirs. At the same time, I would find people who I would say have a weak definition of what pain is.

All that to say, pain is real if you feel it. Choosing to allow other people's opinions to suppress what I feel is ridiculous. I hate when people do that to me and I certainly should not do it to others.

Prayer:
I ask that you forgive me for all the times that I have failed to minister to hurting people simply because I felt like their pain was irrational compared to the sufferings of others or the suffering I myself have experienced. It is petty pride that makes me do that and that is wrong. I ask that You give me the wisdom and patience I need to walk a person through the pain they feel and to understand the level of normalcy to which they are accustomed.

I also ask that You open the eyes of my heart that I may see unresolved hurt that I have suppressed. Many times I have looked at my life, determined I had no right to be upset and buried my feelings over situations. I ask that You take me back to those places and allow me to truly find the healing that you have for me.

In the passage from Job I am reminded that I am limited by time, my mind, and my ambition. I ask that You help me remember that though my days are numbered, You stand forever. That though my plans fail, Yours never miss. And that though my heart loses hope, my strength is in You.

Faith That Stands

Scripture:
"Brethren and Fathers, hear my defense which I now offer to you." Acts 22:1

Observation:
Paul's defense was not for himself. He was in a really serious situation. The stakes were high. The consequences for his beliefs and teaching meant the end of life as the Jewish leaders knew it. As he stood before them, he fully understood what they would have planned for him. He himself had taken part in such plans himself. In fact, he was counted among their most zealous defenders. Now, with a wave of his hand he had their attention and began to speak. He could have easily bent the truth. He could have covered his words, said the right things, and then walked out of there unscathed. But he did not. He stuck to the truth as he knew it to be.

Application:
Knowing how to apply scriptures such as this one to my life can at first pass be difficult. I live in a different place and time. No one persecutes me for my beliefs. No angry mob of people is following me around waiting for an opportunity to seize me and beat me to death with stones. Yet, there is something about this passage that just grabs hold of me.

There are a few things about this scene that I need to learn. First, Paul knew what he believed. Not in a theological manner, but from first hand experience. Paul lived the life and connected with God in an authentic manner. The same should be true for me. I need to own my faith. I need to experience the movement of God first hand. I need to know what I believe in and have real life experiences that back it up. To do this requires a commitment to seek after God every single day and pay attention to the lessons that He offers.

Second, what Paul believed affected how he lived his life. Once Paul had a genuine encounter with God, he was no longer able to live life the same way. Everything he once held dear was traded for the new way of life God offered to him. How much of my daily life is affected by my beliefs? That is a haunting question to ask. There is not guilt in what I feel, only a massive sense of curiosity at the thought of what else I might experience if I truly released control of my life and allowed my relationship with God to really impact the way I live.

Third, Paul shared his faith. He never backed down, no matter where he went or who he was with. He was constantly on the look out for an opportunity to share his story. What a great challenge. Everywhere I go I am generally on an agenda. I am after something that I want or need. I wonder how many people I have walked right past who were literally dieing on the inside to know that God is real, that He loves them and that there is more to life than what they are experiencing. The great sense of purpose, acceptance, love, joy, hope and forgiveness that guides me everyday is a free gift to all who are willing to believe. Why would I fear sharing that?

Finally, Paul made no excuses for what he believed. One of the draw backs to the society that we live in today is that everyone is afraid of offending someone. We try to dummy everything down so that it is acceptable by all. God does not work that way. His truth is always going to be offensive to some. There is no way around that. If I really live out my calling in life, there is always going to be an element of folks who disagree. This is not a license to be a jerk. Nor is it an excuse to brow beat people with the Bible. But it is a call to really stand firm on what I know to be truth.

Prayer:
In my heart, I know that the same Spirit that was present in Paul's life is at work in my life. I have access to the same strength, wisdom, and guidance. But in my head, I carry around doubts. My words get tied up and I often find myself unable to untie the knots. As I sit and pray I feel a stirring deep inside that is begging to experience more of You. I want to walk in a new level of obedience and see first hand the power of Your presence. That is my deepest desire. There are many things in my life that interfere with this happening. I pray that You move upon life in a way that is undeniably You. That is my only hope. It is the only pathway which leads me to have faith that can stand under the weight of daily life.

Honest Questions

Scripture:
"He said to them, 'Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed?' And they said to Him, 'No, we have not even heard whether there is a Holy Spirit.'" Acts 19:2

Observation:Honest questions deserve honest answers. This group of people were faced with an honest question regarding the condition of their faith. In situations like that an almost irresistible desire can often rise up making it hard to answer truthfully. It had to be tempting to say, "Oh, yeah. The Holy Spirit. Right. Absolutely. We got that." But instead they were honest about where they were, what they had, and what they knew. The result was astonishing.

Application:
Memories of situations such as this one litter my mind. I can remember many times I was faced with an honest question that revealed a weakness in me. "Are you angry?" "Worried about something?" "Do you really believe that God works like that?" "Are you ok?" There are hundreds of questions such as these that I face on a daily basis.

Many times, I lie in response. "Why would I be angry?" "No, everything is fine." "I totally believe God can do something." "I said I am fine!" Before I even have a chance to make a conscious choice, my defenses pop up and I find myself deflecting the questions and hiding behind false answers. I do this with my wife, my kids, my friends and my co-workers. Worst of all, I do this with God.

Prayer:
False fronts and fake beliefs make for a really miserable existence. I regret all the times that I have avoided the things that You have wanted to teach me. I ask that You forgive my pride. Teach me to honestly connect with where I am and help me to be honest about that. I do not want to settle for fake feelings. I want the real thing. I desire to have all of You that is available to me. Give me the courage to open up my life and honestly share my struggles and my triumphs as I persevere in my journey home to You.