Relative to My Normal

Scripture:
"My days are past, my plans are torn apart, even the wishes of my heart." Job 17:11

Observation:
The pain of life is real. There is no escaping it. The place in which Job found himself was totally hopeless. It was a dark season. He lived a blameless life yet he sat and stared at charred remains of everything that he had built his life around. His children; gone. His possessions; spent. His health; stricken. Nothing was left from his normal life. Everything was lost.

Application:
As I read these verses, I can easily slip into the role of Job. I have never experienced anything close to the level of loss Job had to endure, but I have suffered none the less. I think that there are times I am tempted to compare my level of suffering to someone like Job. When I do that, I seem to sell myself short and feel silly for hurting. And there always seems to be someone around me willing to offer the suggestion that it could be worse or that I should count my blessings.

Over the years I have grown to understand that suffering has less to do about the severity of the situation and more to do with how far removed it is from my normal. My definition of normal is the baseline that determines just how much pain I feel from an experience. For instance, a bad day at work for me is compared to what I normally experience. A bad fight with my wife is compared to what I normally experience as normal with her. A bad day with my kids is compared to what my daily interaction normally is with them.

No two people have the same normal and so it is very likely that if I compare myself to others that I will find some people who would tell me that my definition of suffering was light compared to theirs. At the same time, I would find people who I would say have a weak definition of what pain is.

All that to say, pain is real if you feel it. Choosing to allow other people's opinions to suppress what I feel is ridiculous. I hate when people do that to me and I certainly should not do it to others.

Prayer:
I ask that you forgive me for all the times that I have failed to minister to hurting people simply because I felt like their pain was irrational compared to the sufferings of others or the suffering I myself have experienced. It is petty pride that makes me do that and that is wrong. I ask that You give me the wisdom and patience I need to walk a person through the pain they feel and to understand the level of normalcy to which they are accustomed.

I also ask that You open the eyes of my heart that I may see unresolved hurt that I have suppressed. Many times I have looked at my life, determined I had no right to be upset and buried my feelings over situations. I ask that You take me back to those places and allow me to truly find the healing that you have for me.

In the passage from Job I am reminded that I am limited by time, my mind, and my ambition. I ask that You help me remember that though my days are numbered, You stand forever. That though my plans fail, Yours never miss. And that though my heart loses hope, my strength is in You.