Faith that Holds

Scripture:
"For we can not stop speaking about what we have seen and heard." Acts 4:20

Observation:
The memories were still fresh in their minds. The pain in His eyes. The anguish on His face. The bloody mess that was left once it was over was an image that none who saw would ever forget. Jesus did not die an easy death. None who saw it would ever forget. The men who killed Him made sure of that.

As Peter and John stood before the same men who crucified Jesus and faced with the same questions posed to Jesus; the fear that they faced had to be great. They were charged to no longer speak the name of Jesus. All they had to do was be quiet; yet, there was something inside them that refused to be silenced. There was something solid in their faith that allowed them to stand before the prospects of a torturous death and refuse to be silenced.

Application:
I grew up in church. Over the course of my life I have sat through countless hours of teaching and preaching. Sunday School. Sunday service. Wednesday nights. Conferences. Tapes. Books. The sources of information available to me as a Christian are endless. While these things have effectively taught me much; I can't help but wonder, what would I do if I stood in the position of John and Peter? Would my faith hold up?


Prayer:
Father God, much of my "faith" is built around things told to me by other people. While I am grateful for all the teaching that I have received, I also realize that this type of faith is cheap. It does not hold up. It wears out in adversity and leaves me feeling abandoned. There is certainly nothing in it worth dying for.

But there is inside of me an element of faith that is solely built around the experiences I have had with You. I close my eyes and my memories are filled with images of times I have encountered You. Those experiences cost me a lot. There is nothing cheap about them. Even under the greatest of conflict and pressure, that part of my faith holds up. I would spend my life to share those stories with others.

I ask today that You continue to strip away from me the cheap, out of the box version of Christianity that has been fed to me by others. I can no longer bear to walk that path as I have found it to be empty and hollow.

I ask that in its place that you fill me with real life encounters with You that create inside of me a faith of which I can't stop talking about; a faith that is not based on the words of other men, but one that is ground in my personal experiences.

The last few days have been rough. Trials have not been hard to find. Sleepless nights and endless days rise up and have taken a toll on my mind and emotions. I have often been tempted to look upon many things in search of relief. In the heat of my present battles, I choose this day to say that You are above all things. I would rather sit at Your table than find peace at the table of another.
I ask today that I fight my battles in a manner that brings Your glory to those around me. Open my eyes wide, so that I may build up my faith through these experiences and bring to mind all the things that You have brought me through. Cheap faith is no good at times such as these. I pray for access to something that can withstand the weight of all I face.