A Sobering Start to the Day

Scripture: For when he dies he will carry nothing away; His glory will not descend after him." Psalm 49:17

Observation: "Our world population is now over five billion. The United Nations has estimated that about 11 percent of the population dies each year, so that means more than fifty million people will die this year. Today alone over 130 thousand people will go to either heaven or hell. Tomorrow another 130 thousand will follow. For the most part people seem unconcerned and uninterested in such a reality. But there is in the heart of every individual a sense of the impending reality of death." John MacArthur

Application: This is an all together depressing way to start the day. 130 thousand people will breathe their last breath today. Their eternity will be eternally set. They will be taken before God and their life will be examined.

The same is true for me. One day I will be one of the 130 thousand. One day I too will breathe my last. When I do, nothing of this earth will go with me. It all stays behind. This fact is really getting to me this morning. Why do I worry with so much that I worry about? Money. Bills. Vacations. Hobbies. None of it has the power to last. None of it the power to save. In the end, it is all useless. So what do I do with this unpleasant reality? It is a question that has haunted man ever since Adam first sinned.

As I observe the world around me I see a few ways that I could react to this. I can get depressed and remove meaning from all of life. It is easy to do this. I saw a bumper sticker one time that said, "Life sucks then you die." I can feel that way on certain days. Death, tension, broken relationships and an overall sense of lacking can suck the life straight out of me. As this happens, I can get really frustrated. Under the rising pressure felt from the frustration I sometimes feel like I just want to snap. Give up. Say the heck with it. Let's just eat, drink, and be merry and wait for the inevitable to happen. I have done this many times and the result has never been very effective.

The other side of the coin is that I can follow Paul's advice from 1 Corinthians 16. He encourages us to "be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love." Alert. Firm. Mature. Strong. Loving. Of all that I can pursue in this life, these are the only things that can last from this life to the next. They are the only things that matter.

Prayer: I want to be alert. The monotony of life really works like a sedative to my senses. Once I fall into the hands of this powerful drug, I just go through life; surviving day by day. Break that bond today. Let me be alert to You and Your work around me. Keep me on my toes. Fill my heart with the excitement that results when You invite me into Your daily agenda. Keep me firm in the faith. This life is not all that there is. Death is not final. You have designed a place of beauty and rest for those who are in You. I do not think about Heaven as often as I should. Help this become a reality to me. Let me be mature. As I study Your Word help me to grow in wisdom. Move me past the immature behaviors that drag me down. Along with this create inside of me a strength to accompany my maturity. I want to be a source of life to those around me. Above all, help me be loving today. Whatever I do I want to approach it from Your deep love for me and the others of this world. 130 thousand people will fall today. Let my heart be bent towards love for the 130 thousand that will die tomorrow. I can do nothing for the ones who died yesterday. Really can’t do much for the ones who will die today. But there is time to reach the ones who will die tomorrow.

Active Love

Scripture: "But one who prophesies speaks to me for edification and exhortation, and consolidation." 1 Corinthians 14:3

Observation: In Chapter 13 Paul lays out a case for love being the greatest thing that we can pursue. It is easy to misinterpret this as being a legitimate excuse to never confront another person regarding their behavior. In the first verse of chapter 14, Paul says, "Pursue love, yet earnestly desire spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy." It is as if Paul is saying that love is not passive. It is active. It is tolerant, but it is also confrontational. Of all the gifts, Paul chooses Prophesy as the one to showcase in this passage. I wonder why?

Application: Christian TV has done some serious damage to my understanding of prophesy. When I hear the term my mind immediately jumps to man in a cheesy suit, sporting a comical haircut, talking in an extremely over-dramatic tone; telling the world of some impending disaster. They often conclude this farce of a dissertation by asking me to "sow some seed" or buy some "how to predict and survive" book they have written on the topic.

And these are the good guys of prophesy. When I think back over people like David Karesh, Jim Jones and others; the case against prophesy continues to build in my mind. So all that is rolling in my mind when I read this passage from Paul and he is encouraging the use of prophesy. To help me sort through the confusion, I looked up the meaning of the word prophesy. The word prophesy simply means speaking out or proclaiming publicly.

Paul says we do it for three reasons; for edification, for exhortation, and for consolidation. Edification means to instruct. Especially so as to encourage intellectual, moral, or spiritual improvement. Exhortation means a speech or discourse that encourages, incites, or earnestly advises. Consolidation means solidification; strengthening: consolidation of principles and beliefs. Suddenly I find my feelings regarding prophesy changing.

Prayer: It is a shame that I lose sight of basic principals such as this. Those three items should be staples of all my relationships. I should be willing to both give those things to people in my life and be willing to accept those three things from others. I wonder just how much transformation has been lost in my life because I refused to accept feedback or instruction from others? I wonder just how many times I have robbed people from the opportunity to grow closer to You because I lacked the courage to speak the truth?

It is my heart's desire to become a better steward of the relationships You have given me. But I often lack the courage to speak out and I also lack the emotional strength needed to hear hard feedback. I need to live out my relationships with a greater sense of focus and intentionality. All these things are beyond my ability to do on my own. Be my strength. Be my wisdom. Be my voice. In all things, keep my heart beating in rhythm with Your love me and for those you have placed in my life.

Open Discussion

Scripture: "Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same spirit. And there are varieties of ministries, and the same Lord. There are varieties of effects, but the same God who works all things in all persons." 1 Corinthians 12:4-6

Observation: There are three main things that I see Paul laying out here.

1.) Gifts.
a. Defined as a talent, endowment, aptitude, or inclination. There are various gifts listed out in the text that follows this passage.
b. I see the gift as being the thing that you have been given that has value to God's work.
c. Paul address them as being different, but of the same Spirit.

2.) Ministries.
a. Defined as the service or function.
b. I see ministry as being the place of service where you put your gifts to work.
c. Paul addresses them as being of many types, but of the same Lord.

3.) Effects.
a. Defined as something brought about.
b. I see the effects as the end result of the gifts used in ministry. They are the outcomes.
c. Paul says that the effects are many, but they are of the same God.

Application: Sometimes I read the Bible and the take aways are immediate. It hits on something specific in my life that I can clearly identify, make application, and take action. Other times I observe something, but I am not sure what I need to do with it.

That is where I am tonight. I have observed the things listed above, but there is no sense of closure. I need to sit with it a while and see what God is has for me.

Prayer: I do not understand what it is that you would like for me to get out of this text tonight, but I would rather sit on it and spend sometime in prayer with You than I had force an application that simply is not there. I pray that You continue to lead me in where I need to go with this text. Open my eyes and my heart to see and hear a deeper understanding of Your teaching. Guide my steps as I seek wisdom and counsel from Your word. I pray that these words of Yours from Paul would continue to burn in my heart until I find a place of rest with them. In the mean time, I look forward to the discussion with You remaining open.

Flesh Verses Flesh

Scripture: "Through You we will push back our adversaries; Through Your name we will trample down those who rise up against us. For I will not trust in my bow, nor will my sword save me." Psalm 44:5-6

Observation: In this Psalm, this statement is not made in advance of a battle or in celebration of a victory. This statement is made in shadows of a defeat. Israel had suffered a mighty blow. Their king led them back to their history and they remembered how things went when God fought for them. In Joshua we are told that when Israel clung to God, one of their men could drive back 1000. When they clung to things of the world, they suffered defeat. This king had obviously learned a lesson.

Application. It was so easy. It felt so good. The words that were spoken to me riled up something inside of me that caused my blood to boil and my ears to feel as if they were burning on the side of my head. It deserved a response and I gave a good one. If throwing "zingers" back at a person were an Olympic event, the string of words I used to comprise the sentences of attack I launched in retaliation to this person would have been a hands down gold medalist. No doubt about it, it was a perfect ten. There was no room for comeback. For the moment, I felt as if I had won. Reality, I only made matters worse. In the heat of the moment, I depended on flesh to fight against the flesh of another person. In the end, I only created a bigger problem.

I do not have a sword. I do not own a bow. Have never had to take to the battlefield. The adversaries I have faced have never showed up with swords drawn and their bows pulled back. I live in a different time and place. Things have definitely changed. The culture into which I was born is different. But there is still a powerful lesson in the verse for me. The adversaries I face; we battle with a different sword. We draw back another kind of bow. Swords of steel have been replaced with tongues of flesh. Bows and arrows of wood have given way to training, education, skills and abilities acquired from experience. The weapons I use and face are different, but the conflict is definitely there. I war with grumbling & gossip. I fight dissention. I stand face to face with past traditions and comforts. Preferences, diverse opinions, fleshly desires, rebellion, anger, hurt, bitterness, fear, and general distrust all rise up to create the battle field on which I spend most of my time.

As I see a battle approaching, it is so hard to hold my tongue and maintain a sober mind. It is so easy to forget the power of the tongue. James has quite a bit to say about the tongue. In James 3:6 I am told "And the tongue is a fire, the very word of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell." Words matter. They have the power to bless or to curse. To build or tear down. They can set on fire the entire course of our life. How many politicians have I watched totally end a campaign by something that slipped out of their mouth?

And the mind is just as bad. As I study and learn, I become more and more dependent upon the knowledge stored in my head. The problem is that my mind is defiled. It is not pure. I can put in the pure wisdom of God and take out the corrupted thoughts of Satan. There is power in the wisdom of God to bring about a greater purpose just as there is power in my own wisdom to help further propagate foolish behavior.

The nation of Israel was instructed to cling to God and warned to avoid depending on the tools of the world around them. So am I warned to cling to God and not depend on my ability to use speech and knowledge to fight. Paul instructs us that we do not battle with flesh and blood, but with powers and principalities. I must stay before God and recognize that it is he who brings victory. I can say some brilliant things that sound amazingly wise. In the end, if I am not clinging to what God is doing; I will suffer defeat. If I walk in sin, I will perish. In 1 Corinthians 11, Paul warns us that God will discipline us in order to save us from condemnation.

Prayer: The heat of the moment is hard for me. Actually, the heat of the moment is impossible for me to stand against the temptation to take matters into my own hands. I need for you to work in my heart now, in the stillness of the morning, to help me bridle my tongue and submit to you my mind, knowledge and wisdom. Guide me in my day. Help me engage only in the battles that You desire for me. Allow the sword or my tongue and the bow of my mind to not be the things in which I trust. I have dealt with the outcomes of the path of my life being set on fire by own foolishness and loose words. I desire not to fight flesh with flesh, but to see You overcome the world around me. Forgive me of the sins I have committed with my tongue and my wisdom. I have allowed the behavior of others to draw me into a battle I never should have fought. In the end, it is Your will and wisdom that dictate the result. You are the only source of victory and peace.

Just Own It

Scripture: "No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it." 1 Corinthians 10:13

Observation: Four or five things stick out to me: 1.) There should never be shame before men regarding sin. All sin is common to all men. 2.) God is faithful. No matter what feelings or emotions say in the moment, the truth is God's faithfulness never falters. 3.) We are never tempted beyond what we can bear. God will not allow it. 4.)God always provides a way out. 5.) Taking the way of escape and staying away from sin is not easy. We are expected to endure it.

Application: I can really get down on myself regarding my sin. Not just a little down, but way down. Shortly after the attack of temptation sets in and I give in; the voices start their painful accusations. "Look at what you did! You call yourself a Christian? Better hope no one ever finds out about this. You are…" On and on they go and eventually they have me hiding in shame and in guilt. But they are lies. I should never judge another man for sin nor should I allow myself to feel judged by others. We all have sinned and we are all capable of the same sins.

I would never openly accuse God of not being faithful for I fear only a fool would do that. But I certainly will do it in secret. Deep inside, in certain situations, I say or feel things that definitely question God's faithfulness. Recurring sins. Death of children. Multiple catastrophes to the same family. There are certain times when it just seems like God has failed to hold to His word. Circumstances be as they may, I should never fail to claim God's ability to fulfill His Word. The reality is that it is my perceptions of His truth that get warped. It is my perceptions that fail; not God.

If ever the academy creates an award for best actor in playing victim to sin, I will be in the final four every year. I can take deceptive statements and blend them with truth to create a masterful dissertation that will have even the staunchest of critics tearfully proclaiming my innocence. But the performance is empty. While I leave with the approval of other men who support my case, I leave broken inside. The wage of the sin still takes its toll on my soul. The pain it causes never subsides. My relationships with everyone around me suffer as I sink further into sin. I have to take ownership and call sin what it is. Confessing it and allowing God to forgive me is the only hope I have. The time for excuses has passed.

My ability to withstand sin is directly impacted by what I am looking to accomplish. God always provides away out, but if I am being honest; many times I am looking for an excuse to sin more than I am looking for a way out. Sin feels good. It meets an immediate longing with immediate gratification. If I do not determine within my mind, soul, and spirit that I don't want sin in my life I will constantly overlook the escape provided by God. That is the importance of owning my sinful acts. If I admit them as sin and allow God to teach me, He can provide the hindsight I need to see the points of escape He provided. The next time I head down the path, I will be better equipped to spot my escape. I just have to long for a way out more than I long for the fruit of the sin.

Taking God's way out is never easy. It requires endurance. Endurance is defined as: the ability or strength to continue or last, esp. despite fatigue, stress, or other adverse conditions. I want it to be easy. I expect to pray and it all just magically disappear. But that is my perception of God's word, not the reality. Paul points it here by reminding me that it is not endurance if it requires nothing of me. I have to set the proper expectations. It will not be easy and if that is my hope; disappointment will always be close by me.

Prayer: Thank You for the ability to laugh at myself. That is one of the more amazing qualities of Your Grace as it gives me the ability to rest in Your ability to forgive me. I have no guilt associated with anything I have confessed to You. For that I am grateful. The thing that troubles me is why I continue to struggle with just owning my sin before You. I know the results of both decisions, yet it is always so tempting to make the bad choice of hiding instead of just confessing to You what I did. I confess to You that in many areas, I still long for the wrong things. I trust that You are faithful to complete what you started in me and I know that You will bring these things under my feet. I look forward to the day when we can sit and laugh about those things together. I love my life. I love what You have done inside of me. Most of all, I love the fact that You love a work in progress.

Contextual Sins

Scripture: "and so by sinning against the brethren and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ. Therefore if food causes my brother to stumble, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause my brother to stumble." 1 Corinthians 8: 12-13

Observation: There are things that are ok in some settings and not in others. This is not a double standard. A double standard would occur if you treated one group different than the other. It is not being two faced. Two-faced behavior occurs when you attempt to elevate yourself by playing both sides of an argument. Paul is not doing that here. His motivation is the building up of other believers. He is not calling the act a sin; the act itself is not. He is attacking the result of the act on weak believers. If an act, in its context, results in a negative impact on a believe then you should avoid it.

Application: Man I hate to admit this, but many times I could give a rip about my brother stumbling when it comes between me and something I really want. It ticks me off. Just the thought of having to adjust my lifestyle due to the fact that another person may look and judge me causes my blood to boil. Why should I have to suffer loss of joy just because someone decides to look down and cast judgment over me? That is often the question that rolls through my mind.

As I sit here this morning I am coming to realize something; we are all in this together. I have a responsibility to live a life that not only helps me, but builds up another. My heart should break when another brother stumbles due to an action he observed in my life. I should truly care about the culture I am in and be careful to not take part in something that results in a sin against another.

Prayer: My appetite for pleasure knows no bounds. It will consume anyone that gets in its path. I need to die to myself. I need to be able to say know to anything at anytime. My struggle is that I allow things to become familiar and take comfort in them. Once this happens, it becomes hard to deny myself of them. Help me to stop this cycle and learn to take comfort in You, not the gifts You provide.

I also need Your help in having a heart of compassion on those around me who I can cause to stumble. Instead of reacting to these people with disdain and contempt, teach me to take pleasure in bringing discipline to my body that will produce an eternal reward for both myself and those who are attached to my life.

You are a great and mighty God. The only God. Your Grace to me is amazing. I deserve much less that You reward me with and my sins against You should bring much more discipline than You provide. Serving You is an honor that I often take for granted. Guide my steps today and allow me to grow in my wisdom of Your word and ways.

My Breaking Point

Scripture: "You shall stand still in the Jordan." Joshua 3:8

Observation: During almost every season of the year the Jordan is easily passable. It has only one flood season. God did not chose to send them when it would be easy. God did not part the Jordan before they got to it. He chose for them to approach it at flood stage and told them to "stand still IN the Jordan".

Application: Paul says that he does not judge himself, but after reading this passage in Joshua and Paul's writings in 1 Corinthians 4; it is hard to not take a sober look at myself. The question on my mind is what is my breaking point? How much am I willing to suffer for the advancement of God's kingdom?

I hate to suffer. In fact, I spend most of my time, talent, and resources waging war against my own personal suffering. I mean, I fool myself into thinking my ambitions are pure, but they are not. My main motive in most everything I do is based on establishing security in my life. I work hard and smart because I do not want to suffer the pain and embarrassment of that failure. I attempt to establish wise spending habits because I do not want to suffer being without. I fret over diet and exercise because I do not want to suffer being unhealthy nor do I want my kids to suffer being without me.

The longer I sit here this morning going through what drives my daily decisions, I am growing more convinced that it is not for God's glory that I labor and toil, but my own comfort and safety. Comfort and safety are not bad things but when they become my pursuit; they become my God and I become self-serving.

Prayer: This has been a sobering morning. A part of my walk with you is putting aside things that prevent me from walking close to You. That aspect of my relationship with you is easy to accept when it relates to things that are harmful or dirty, but it crushes me when it relates to things that are clean but self-serving. A part of me likes to argue and think that You want me to be safe and comforted, but then I read these words from Paul: "To this present hour we are both hungry and thirsty, and are poorly clothed, and are roughly treated, and are homeless; and we toil, working with our own hands; when we are reviled, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure; when we are slandered, we try to conciliate; we have become as the scum of the world, the dregs of all things, even until now. 1 Cor. 4:11-13.

I want You to part the river before me and not wait until I am standing in it. I get angry and frustrated when I suffer. It spurs me to take action and try to eliminate the pain. I do many things, but rare is the day that I stand still in anything that make me suffer, lose security or comfort. I am spoiled. I have become lazy and I know it. I confess to you this morning my sin of seeking comfort and security above my relationship with You. I am grateful for Your patient instruction. Sustain me today as I move through my daily life. Help me to let go of the hold I have on my life and truly release it to You. Allow me to remain focused on pursuing You in all things that I will face today. Defend Your name and establish Your kingdom through my life. Allow the promises of Your word to free me from being enslaved to fear. I need Your strength to stand in my river until You provide the dry land of escape.

My Wrath

Scripture: "Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for him; Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who carries out wicked schemes. Cease from anger and forsake wrath; do not fret; it leads to evildoing." Psalm 37:7:8

Observation: This entire chapter contains instruction for dealing with injustice in the world. Despite the time that has passed between the writing of this passage and where I sit today the question remains the same, why do evil people prosper while the Godly suffer? Why is good returned with bad? This verse is truly a treasure chest of wisdom and instruction for how to handle myself when life treats me unfairly.

Application: "This is not right." I tell myself. "it should not be happening this way." "I did things the right way and still I am getting the raw deal." That is the conversation that goes on in my head. The scenarios change like shifting tides; I watch liars and cheats get business sales by deceptive practices while the honest misses out. I see noble and honorable business owners go bankrupt while ruthless and dishonorable owners accumulate millions. I see people give grace to others only to see them taken advantage of. I see people give of themselves to others to the point of personal pain or loss only to be repaid by being abused. I see people avoid bad lifestyle choices only to watch the bad choices produce all the fun. I sit with good, God fearing parents who just lost a child while I notice countless kids being born to un-Godly parents who care nothing for them.

I could keep on writing out scenarios and probably never reach the end of the list. At times, the economy of the world just does not seem to support God's commands and promises. When that happens I get angry. That anger wears away at me until it converts to wrath. Wrath for me means that I say things or take action that is intended to result in the humiliation or breaking of another person. I fill my mouth with "zingers" designed to put a person in their place. It can also take the form of reckless abandonment of all restraints on my life. For example, I scrap and save money only to see myself never get ahead. I get angry. Then I rebel against fiscal responsibility by going out and buying everything I wanted and said no to. In relationships, it means I cut a person off. I give and I give and I give only to never get anything in return. My response to the rising tide of anger in my soul is I shut people off. I will no longer give anything to anyone.

But in the end, none of my wrath has ever prospered me anything. As sit here this morning, I can't recall a single instance of my plans working out for me. When I look at the first segment I am told to rest and wait patiently for the LORD. A definition of rest is; relief or freedom, especially from anything that wearies, troubles, or disturbs. The word patiently here can be replaced with longingly. Longingly can be defined as strong, persistent desire or craving. In the heat of the moment God reminds me to be still and convert all my negative energy into a deep longing for Him. Every struggle should deepen my desire for Him. All my desperation should be given to Him. All my anger. All my doubts. All my questions. God is giving me the invitation to come to Him with all my junk and give it to Him. That is the only way for me to profit. Any other reaction can only lead to further evil.

Prayer: This world is not fair. It often fails to live up to my expectations. If I am not careful it is very easy for me to get angry not only at the world, but at You. Sometimes if I am honest with You and with myself my anger carries me to the point that I feel You are not fair or just. In irrational moments of anger I say and do things that I know are not right and then I leave behind me a wake of consequences that are just plain ugly. I truly regret the hurt that I have caused You and I repent of my sin against you. I need Your help with this. There is no way I can walk down this path without Your help. I want to trade all my rights, all that I feel is owed to me, all my logic, all my anger, and all my questions for a deep longing for You and a deep rest in Your presence. Help me to no longer trade evil for evil and perpetuate the cycle of wrath that continually repeats itself in my life. You are good and You are holy. I want to rest in the fact that I know You will bring justice when the time is right. Until then, I want to long only for You.

Just my Imagination

Scripture: "There is none like the God of Jeshurun, who rides the heavens to your help, and through the skies in His majesty. The eternal God is a dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms." Deuteronomy 33:26

Observation: The old testament writers were really connected to the majesty of God. Almost anytime they write about him the illustrations we see are quite amazing.

Application: Flash Gordon. Han Solo. Captain Kirk. Indiana Jones. Those were the men that boys of my time dreamed about. Not to mention the Million Dollar Man, Superman, Spiderman and the many other super heroes that came out of my era. I wanted to be like each of them. I would allow my imagination to run wild as I would re-enact scenes from the movies or shows I had watched. They were men of greatness and I desired to be just like them. Chase down the bad guys, defeat them in a fierce battle, save everyone, and leave with the girl. That was my dream and it is where I accumulated most of the millions of day dream miles I have in my account. I longed to be like or close to the characters listed above. In fact, other than the old and fat Shatner, I still feel a sense of connection to the men who portrayed these roles when I see them on TV.

It really is a shame that the world is so much better at glorifying fictitious characters and made up plots than believers are at painting a picture of just who God is. As vividly as I remember the characters of the movies and shows listed above, it is much harder to find childhood imagery painted in my mind by teachers from the churches I attended. Not saying anything negative about the teachers, they led me to Christ and taught me many things. It was just hard for them to compete. They only got me for an hour each week. And to be honest most of the material they used was shallow. In addition to suffering the restraints of time and being ill-equipped, my childhood teachers also suffered another obstacle. No one ever taught them the majesty of God that dwells inside of us. Most of the sermons I can remember talk of God as an outside being that we can never relate to or come in contact with.

That is the beauty of what I read in 1 Corinthians 2:12, "Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God." I can never be like Han Solo. I will never live the adventure of Indiana Jones. I can watch movies all I want, but those characters can never deliver to me their spirit. But look at what Paul says, I have received the Spirit that is from God. The same Spirit that rides through the heavens and the sky is alive and at work inside of me.

Prayer: Thou shall not have any other gods before me. Those words are ringing in my ears this morning as I come to realize just how many times I have yearned to be like other men, both real and fictional. There is just so much about you that I do not understand. So many things that lie beyond what I can fathom. This morning I pray that You return to me a sense of child-like wonder at the majesty of Your works and that I will become enamored with the power of Your Spirit inside of me. Open my eyes today to the works of Your hands. May all my dreams lead back to You. May all the energy of my imagination be used in pursuit of a better understanding of who You are and to grasp the riches of Your spirit inside of me.

Dead Battery

Scripture: "Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. Gal 6:9

Observation: Preparation, planting, nurturing, and harvest. Those are the seasons of growing that a farmer goes through. Only one of the four is taking from the land. The other three are putting back. God's word indicates we should expect a similar experience in our relationship with Him.

Application: Some mornings I open up my Bible and it just comes to life before my eyes. My spirit is treated to a buffet of ideas, encouragement, rebuke, and instruction. It is like walking through a massive vineyard and taking my choice from the vines. Other times, like the past couple of mornings, it is more of a struggle. I look at the words on the pages, but nothing seems to happen. It feels a lot like sitting in a car with a dead battery. I know it has the potential to take me somewhere, but it just will not start. It can become frustrating. And this experience does not just extend to my Bible reading. There are other areas of my life that follow the same pattern. My relationships; sometimes they give fulfillment while other times they suck the life out of me. My work; sometimes I feel like I am on the greatest path in the world while other times I feel totally lost. My hobbies, sometimes I find great joy in them while other times I am left longing for more stimulation than they provide. In all these situations, I love the challenge of this verse. When things go bad, keep sowing good seed. When my quiet time stinks, keep pursuing it. When relationships become a drain, keep pouring into people. When work loses its spark, stay devoted to excellence. When good hobbies fail to produce release, refuse to purse defilement. Never stop sowing good seed. Never. In proper time, I will pass through the current season and enter the next; assuming I do not grow weary. In verse 7, we are promised that God will not be mocked. We will reap what we sow. In Deuteronomy 28 God paints an amazing picture of what life is like under his blessing. He also points out the incredible pain that results from a life under His curse. Both examples prove a simple point, my life will produce a result. At the end of the day my life, as a believer, will prove to the world around me the bounty of God's blessing or the power of His curse. What will I sow? Which fruit will I produce? Are the temptations of the world that good? Should I trade my quiet time for Sports Center just because I am not hearing anything? Should I avoid loving my wife faithfully just because our relationship is strained? Should I procrastinate and goof off at work just because things have become routine? May it never be! The good and plentiful harvest will come as long as I do not abandon the process.

Prayer: If I am being honest with You, I would often times prefer a grocery store and free credit rather than a garden and a hoe. Forgive my laziness. The life You have given me is incredible, but it requires diligent effort and lots of hard work. It is a labor now and it will be a labor until I die. If left to my own, this reality is exhausting. To think of the process never ending is torture beyond what I am willing to endure. I need Your help in sustaining my labor. I will quit. I know, I have seen me do it many times. I also have seen the result that comes from abandoning what is of the spirit for the pursuit of what is of the flesh. In short, I will make that crazy trade of Your blessings for Your curses just to receive immediate gratification of a need. It makes no sense to me but that is the pattern of my past. Guard my heart, mind, and soul today. Whether it be sowing or reaping, planting or harvesting, tilling ground or filling the storehouse; may I find Your joy in all that I do this day.

Nocturnal What???

Scripture: "If there is among you any man who is unclean because of a nocturnal emission, then he must go outside the camp; he may not reenter the camp. 11 "But it shall be when evening approaches, he shall bathe himself with water, and at sundown he may reenter the camp. Deut 23:10-11

Observation: 2 Timothy 3:16 says "All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness;". It is incredibly easy to accept this verse and understand it when you look at certain passages. John 3:16, Romans 3:23, Philippians 4:13, etc. But then comes along a verse like this one. What do I do with this? Most of the time I just move past it and try to avoid any mental pictures while doing so.

Application: This is crazy. Not just this verse, but the entire chapter is nuts to me. In the span of a few verses the topics range from missing male body parts to burying your poop in the desert. Why? Why would God include this in His word. Better yet, what am I supposed to do with it? I have sat and thought on this passage for most of the afternoon and here is the conclusion I have come to; thank you God for Jesus Christ and the new covenant I am under today. I can save myself the suspense of wonder; I know I would come up short of the law. Even the most basic of rules would have gone right past me. People under the law faced a burden unlike anything I can comprehend. One would think that they would have given anything to be out from under this heavy load of rules, regulations, atonements, and sacrifices. Not to mention escaping the consequences that followed their breaking it. But then I turn over to Galatians 4 and find out that people were trying to return to the law. In Galatians 4:9 Paul says, "how is it that you turn back again to the weak and worthless elemental things, to which you desire to be enslaved all over again?" What? Did they really want to return to passages such as Deuteronomy 23? It makes me laugh when I read on in Galatians 4:21 when Paul says, "Tell me, you who want to be under law, do you not listen to the law?" This is a great lesson in just how powerful the familiar can become to us. The law was rough, but it was what they knew. They were vested in it. It was hard to walk away from years of ritual to walk in the new life God gave through Jesus Christ. What an incredible reminder for me.

Prayer: I take Grace for granted. I take the Holy Spirit for granted. And I certainly take Your unconditional and irrevocable forgiveness for granted. There is so much about You that I will never understand. There is so much of Your word I will never understand. This much I do know; Christ was Your perfect sacrifice and His death made total restitution for my sin. I will never know what it was like to live under the law to the level that the Israelites did. I confess before You tonight that the resurrection of Jesus Christ is the ultimate of good news and I am very happy that I do not have to leave camp for any reason. I only have to confess my sins and You have taken care of the rest. I love where I am today. Yes, there are parts of my past that I miss and other places I am tempted to return to; but I would be a fool to leave what You have given me. I am so grateful for my life. More than anything, I am grateful to be clean! My sins are taken away from me and there is nothing more for me to do. What a joy!

Die Like Harry

Scripture: "When you go out to battle against your enemies and see horses and chariots and people more numerous than you, do not be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, who brought you up from the land of Egypt, is with you. 2 "When you are approaching the battle, the priest shall come near and speak to the people. 3 "He shall say to them, 'Hear, O Israel, you are approaching the battle against your enemies today. Do not be fainthearted. Do not be afraid, or panic, or tremble before them, 4 for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you, to fight for you against your enemies, to save you." Deut 20:1-4

Observation: Life can often be intimidating. We will face adversaries. There will be struggles. There are two things here that really stick out from this passage. First, the "you" used here refers to the entire nation, not individuals. Individual safety is not promised. In fact in later verses it is mentioned that individuals will die. It is the greater cause that will prevail. The cause is to be placed above individual loss. Second, it says 'When you go" not "if you go" We will face adversaries but regardless of what we face we are to never lose sight of God. We will have to face people who are superior to us, but they are never greater than God.

Application: I am called to live a selfless life. My blog site is named "a life to give." The scripture I chose as the description for the blog is "Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many." Matthew 20:28. As I think about this passage from Deuteronomy, I can get fired up. I am taken into the movie Brave Heart. I can be William Wallace. I can picture myself leading the battle. Charging the field. Motivating the troops. Dying a heroic death. Trouble is, I can't picture myself being Harry. Who is Harry? Harry is the nameless, faceless man who died when the first arrow flew. He never made any history books. His legacy was not enduring. In fact, I had to make up his name just now because the movie did not mention him nor the thousands just like him. As much as I like to think that I am ready to give my life, I am not. I am ready for success. Notoriety. Accomplishment. I am not ready to be one of the faceless mortals whose life is spilled out on the field of battle to never be remembered again. The cause is not greater than my own personal advancement. What a great challenge. As I approach today, what am I ready to lose on behalf of God? My friends? My family? My team? Will I sacrifice for them? I must truly prepare myself to answer these questions for I know the time is coming when I will be faced with this choice. I want to be willing to die a faceless death for the greater good of the mission to which God has called me. Once I have totally abandoned myself and surrendered all the terms under which I am willing to die, I am free. If all that I desire is the greater good of God's cause and I count as nothing my personal losses, then fear no longer has any hold on me. I have to lose my life long before I am asked to give it up.

Prayer: I am so grateful that You took the time to leave us with Your words contained in the Bible. Every morning I get to spend time seeking counsel from the Creator of the heavens and earth. As I do, it is like staring into a mirror for my soul. There is not the first hint of guilt nor condemnation, only a challenge to live stronger. To be more diligent. To keep pressing onward towards the prize that has been given to those who serve You. Over the past two days You have really challenged me to surrender my life and my agenda for the greater good of Your purpose. There is absolutely nothing in my flesh that desires to pursue this selfless act. All that is left of my natural man lines up against this mission and fights to preserve my rights, my dreams and my security. I must rely on Your strength to advance in this area. Only You have the power to break the yolk of self-idolatry.

A Bad Trade

Scripture: "When you enter the land which the LORD your God gives you, you shall not learn to imitate the detestable things of those nations. Deut 18:9


Observation: When our need is great it is often quite easy to rely on God. When the pressure is off, however, it becomes easy to fall back into old habits or pick up some new ones. God knew this all to well and so here He issues a warning to the Israelites alerting them to what was to come. God does not come out of nowhere and sideswipe us. His warning long proceeds His action.

Application: "I swear, I will never do ____ again." How many times have I uttered that line? Or how about this one, "If you just get me out of ____ I am ready to live my life differently. I have learned my lesson." Statements like this are so promising. It feels good to say them. The euphoric sense of freedom and success is only sweetened when God seems to respond by allowing my life to find some relief. The first phase of this process is easy. The battle is raging and my only hope is to draw close to God. As I do, He moves closer to me and I draw upon His strength. I know that I am doing what I am doing only through Him. There is no way I can let up. I stick to my quiet time. My prayer time is so real. Overall my relationship with God is running like a well oiled machine. Then comes the second phase. The pressure lets up. I experience some degree of victory. Suddenly the desperation drops from my dependency on God. I stick with my quiet time and prayer life but the tone has shifted. Now I am grateful. I am really pleased by what God has done and I enjoy walking in His presence, not because I have to but because I want to. It is still a really sweet time. Then comes the third phase. I get bored. Everything in my life is manageable but I start to feel trapped. As I survey the scene around me, everyone else seems to be having way more fun than me. Vacations. New cars. Boats. Parties. The list of things that provide others joy is much longer than mine. I am tempted. Suddenly all the promises I made to God seem to be so very distant from me. I regret them. Before long I begin to desire things that I feel I am being denied. Then come the fourth and final phase. I walk away. It starts so simple. "I just won't read my Bible today" I think to myself. "I just don’t feel like getting up this morning" I say on another day. Before long, I am totally not seeking God anymore. In His absence, my flesh steps up and then it happens. All bets are off and I trade the peace of God for the pursuit of pleasure. I fall hard and the process starts over again. Why do I do this to myself? What is it in my nature that causes me to abuse and manipulate God in this manner?

Prayer: God you are so gracious to me. I truly regret all the empty promises. Not because I fear the consequences, but I am truly sorry for the hurt to our relationship this has caused. I live in a world that is full of tempting practices. At times the rhythm of life lulls me into a sense of complacency and I stop advancing my spiritual life. As soon as I do this, the patterns of the world become tempting. I pray today for the desire to draw close to You. I know myself. If I let up for even a second I will fall back into old patterns. I pray that You reveal the power of Your will to me. Psalm 34 challenges us to taste and see that You are good. Teach me what it means to taste of Your goodness everyday. Allow Your wisdom to go before me and make my path clear and Your Spirit inside me to guide my every decision. I truly desire to learn from my mistakes and not repeat them. I want to live in a constant state of alertness and awareness of Your great work that is going on around me. Keep me on the edge of my faith and may the desire to see Your Kingdom become my greatest desire.

The True Teacher

Scripture: "...I did not immediately consult with flesh and blood, nor did I go up to Jerusalem to those who were apostles before me; but I went away to Arabia, and returned once more to Damascus. Gal 1:16-17

Observation: How could this have happened? The words would have labored in his mind heavily as he was led in total darkness to Damascus. Lies. All of them lies. Every word given to him by teachers and applied by him to memory and action were lies. He had devoted his entire life to zealously pursing religious traditions and misinterpretations of the scripture as though they were the word and will of God. In Acts we are told he "ravaged" the church over the gospel of Christ. He had killed, beaten and threatened people who challenged what he thought to be the true instruction of God. As the scales fell from his eyes that day in Ananias' house and his vision returned to him, Paul saw the world in an entirely new perspective. He lived in a time when the normal, expected behavior would have been to return to Jerusalem and receive proper instruction from the Apostles. But not this time. Never again would Paul be misled by teachers, instead he left for the desert to be taught by God.

Application: I still remember the day. I still remember the question. What does God mean to you and what do you think is your identity in Christ? It was a simple question and I gave the same canned answer that I normally gave to the nodding approval of the religious people who were around me. But this time my the reply that came back to me caught me more than a little off guard. See this time the question was asked by a man who really cared about the answer I gave. He also cared enough about me to tell me the truth. Shortly after I painted a beautiful word picture that included all the common phrases such as I am a sinner saved by grace, God is my everything, and my sins have been washed away; my friend looked me in the eyes and then said "that is a load of junk and you don’t believe any of it." The words did not hurt as much as they just shocked me. As I sat there in the apartment with Bill that day in stunned silence, I felt the walls coming down as I eventually realized he was right. 90% of everything I believed about my relationship with God were nothing more than useless phrases and empty thoughts. I had been spoon fed things that were biblical and they even contained truth, but I did not own them. I did not really even believe them. They did not empower me nor did they draw me close to God. As I relive that story I am reminded of the importance of wrestling with questions and owning what I believe. Teaching is great. It is a precious gift from God to be able to sit under great teachers and be given guidance. My life is impacted daily by the men who have been entrusted with the talents required to teach. But there is no substitute for spending time alone with God in His Word. There is no other safety net to protect me from false teaching. No man is infallible and no matter how good a teacher someone is, they can’t apply truth in my life. They can only serve as a guide. The work of application is a task reserved to take place only in my time alone with God.

Prayer: I must confess to You tonight that I realize just how lazy I am when it comes to growing in Your truth. Sometimes it is just easier to buy a good book or sit under someone's instruction than it is to do it myself. Sitting alone with Your word and discerning what You are trying to tell me is intimidating and the process is made even more difficult by my own stubbornness and pride. I have used the excuse that God is silent so many times, but I realize that is so contrary to Your word. I am grateful that you are not a God of silence but a God that draws near. A God that speaks. Who instructs. Who trains. I want to sit under Your instruction and allow You to guide me as You mold me into the man You desire me to be. I recognize that you will provide instruction for me through others, but I also recognize that no man is ever intended to replace my private time with You. Continue to grow inside of me the strength and humility required to accept feedback and answer questions with absolute honesty. I thank you for friends who are willing to speak the truth to me in love and I hope that the same can be said of me.

Just Get Rolling

Scripture: "They were saying to one another, "Who will roll away the stone for us from the entrance of the tomb?" Mark 16:3

Observation: Mary and Mary were totally committed to a plan destined for failure. There were a couple fatal flaws in what they purposed to do. First, their plan revealed their lack of faith. Jesus told them that He would be raised from the dead on the third day. Where they were heading clearly proved they did not believe His promised timing of resurrection. Second, they were taking spices to anoint His body. This element of their plan clearly points to the fact that they did not believe He would ever rise. Third, there was a huge stone covering the tomb and they had no way of moving it. This was not a good plan.

Application: My approach to life is fairly simple. Assess, plan, act and adjust is the model I typically follow. Assess where I am and compare it to where I would like to be. Plan for the provisions, steps, and timing it will take to carry me closer to where I would like go. Put the plan into action and then manage the results by making adjustments along the way. That is just how I do things. It is hard for me to move forward in anything without at least running through these steps in my head. If there is a glaring deficiency, then I will stop until I have figured a way around it. I want to move, but I prefer to move on purpose. As I think about what Mary and Mary were doing that early morning, it is easy to cast stones. What were they thinking? Did they not pay attention to His teaching? How did they not know? And then what did they think was going to happen when they made it to the tomb? In my book of planning, two women + one huge stone= one un-entered tomb. It works out that way every time. Crazy. But then it hits me. Where were the disciples? What were they doing? Sitting in hiding is what they were doing. They were more than likely following the same model I outlined above. They were thinking through where they were, where they wanted to be, what they needed to do about it, and when they needed to act. Mary and Mary were dead wrong with their plans and theology, but their intentions were beautiful. In the absence of a clear sense of direction, these two ladies simply decided to head in the last known location of their Savior. They knew that was the last place they had seen Him and even though it is not what they wanted, they moved. While the others were seeking direction and clarity; they found Jesus first. Not because they were right, just because they were taking action by moving towards the only thing they could think to do. They simply returned to their last known location of Jesus.

Prayer: The way I operate has served me well and I have seen You accomplish much in my life by empowering the way You trained me to think. That said I must confess that I sometimes put my faith in the model more than I put it in You. Life is ever changing and many times I look up to find myself facing a situation that makes no sense to me. I struggle to find direction and as my search continues to produce no assured steps; I become paralyzed by fear and doubt. In those moments, I pray that I have the courage to do just what Mary and Mary did here. I want to move. Even if it means I reveal to everyone just how little I know and regardless of how many holes are in my plans, I want to return to the last thing I can remember You giving to me to do and head towards that. I trust not in my ability to make sound decisions, but in Your ability to direct my steps once I am moving. I rely on You daily to guide my steps and I want You to be able to rely on me daily to just get rolling. I love to live the adventure You offer me everyday. Allow me the Grace and direction I need to daily live to impact Your kingdom. Even when my faith is blind and my thinking is cloudy at best I totally surrender to the belief that You can direct my steps.

Life Comes at You Fast

Scripture: "Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why are you disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him. The help of my countenance and my God." Ps 43:5

Observation: The writer of this Psalm was in a hard place. Deceit and injustice were all around him. Things grew to the point that he felt totally abandoned by God. Instead of running away from God or losing faith the palmist stood firm, expressed his feelings to God, and claimed his promises.

Application: There are a series of insurance commercials on TV that re-enact an unexpected accident which is always followed by the tag line, "life comes at you fast." I live by that line. Things happen so quickly. I have often found myself cruising along having a great time when suddenly something happens that totally catches me by surprise. Then things just seem to just pile on. It always seems that things come all at once. Instead of a daily allowance of struggles it is like things build up and then are unleashed at once. One after another things just start to come unraveled and before long I feel like what was once a beautiful tapestry of life has been reduced to a worthless pile of string and yarn. Why does this happen? How is that multiple people in my life can all decide to come down on me at once? Why is it that carefully crafted decisions and plans fall apart all at the same time? How can it be that my dishwasher can break, the engine of my van burn up and my child need a trip to the emergency room in the same week? And those are just the minor things. Deaths happen in bunches. Waves of sin and temptation seem to well up all at once and come crashing down on me. We live in a world that seems to constantly be on the look out for ways to cope with depression and anxiety. It is so easy to look for something outside of God to find relief. There are pills to take, books to read, counselors to seek, and techniques to do. I do not feel that these things in and of themselves are bad. They can actually become quite helpful. But in and of themselves they are totally powerless when it comes to healing my soul. That is an area of healing reserved only for God. Still, it is so hard to keep that in perspective. When depression, anxiety and despair strike I think of the many things that offer relief. The list of temptations is as long as it is promising. But they are all empty. This verse reminds me that it is God who replaces the despair in my soul with the fullness of hope. He takes the disturbance that rages in my heart and replaces it with tranquility and calmness. He even transforms the very expression of my face. From the inside out, God has the power to totally renovate every aspect of my being. He sits and waits on me to call.

Prayer: You are the God of my strength. The lifter of my head. The defender of my life. There is no other place I can go that promises to do so much in my life. Send forth Your truth and Your light to guide me through hard times. Come to me quickly and do not delay when I call out to You; for my soul will fade quickly. Confirm inside of me Your promise to deliver those who seek You as shelter. Cause me to remember Your goodness and accept Your correction when You send it to help me grow. In all these things allow Your comfort to spill from my life and bring comfort to those near me. There is no other God besides You. There is no source of life that can even compare to You.

Don’t Get Comfortable

Scripture: "Only give heed to yourself and keep your soul diligently, so that you do not forget the things which your eyes have seen and they do not depart from your heart." Deut 4:9

Observation: Moses has just walked them back through their history. All the victories. All the failures. Everything that God had done was recalled and discussed. He concluded by reminding the people of who their God was and just exactly what He was capable of doing. Then he issues the warning contained in this scripture. He knew they were heading into a season of victory. He was encouraging them to not allow their success to give birth to failure.

Application: I still remember the day. The unpleasant stench of garbage still clings to my nostrils. I was hiding. Afraid to see other people. Man, had I fallen far. At my highest point, I was one of the most popular and genuinely liked people you would ever hope to meet. Everyone was my best friend. I was the life of the party. The trusted confidant of many. It all went to my head, then it all came crashing down. God had turned His back on me and I was quickly reminded that He is a Holy God and that He refuses to allow my life to go unchecked. He had checked me hard and I had clearly gotten the picture. This particularl day, as I sat by a dumpster, He spoke to me through His word and called me back into Himself. I got up that day and headed out determined to walk down a new path. Victory came easy. Things that once tempted me were suddenly undesirable. I was coasting along, totally unaware that I hade made a bad decision. My recovery had a fatal flaw. In my attempt to feel comfort and not suffer the rejection of my friends I tried to play off my decision to no longer do the things that I once did as a personal choice. My will power was strong enough to hold me up and I was lulled into complacency and comfort by Satan. Before long, I fell back into the same behavior patterns. Looking back, I now realize that there were a few problems with my thinking that led to my falling down again. First, I failed to give heed to myself. I did not pay careful attention to the things I was feeling. In my efforts to "get" better, I tried to use my will power. This meant that I tried to ignore my temptations. By doing this, I actually ended up ignoring myself which resulted in me not paying special attention to what God was attempting to heal. The second thing that I did wrong was that I did not keep my soul diligently. I kept all the same friends. I went to all the same places. I fed myself the same bad thoughts. I tolerated certain sins mostly because I was fighting the "bigger" sins in my life. I was an easy target for Satan to take down. I did not feed myself on the pure and wholesome word of God. I did not allow it to transform me from the inside out. Instead of constantly filling my heart with pure things, I always waited until I was being overrun with temptation to seek God. As result, I ended up crashing again. Thankfully, God was there to pick me up again. Thankfully, Deuteronomy 4: 29-31 says this, "But from there you will seek the LORD your God, and you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul. When you are in distress, and all these things come upon you in the latter days, when you turn to the LORD your God and obey His voice (for the LORD your God is a merciful God), He will not forsake you nor destroy you, nor forget the covenant of your fathers which He swore to them."

Prayer: I am so stubborn. That part of my flesh that refuses to die has driven me to rock bottom so many times that I feel I have a second home there. I sit here today and I am honestly shocked that I would still listen to that voice and fall victim to my own thinking. I am so grateful that You hear my voice when I reach a point of desperation and that you allow me to find you. You never forsake me nor do you go back on Your promises. Even when I have abandoned all that I promised, You hold firm. Thank you. As I have reflected over my life this morning I am excited by the level of growth that you have arranged in me. I am still far from where I need to be, but I am so very far from where I started. I am glad to be where I am. While I am glad to be headed in the direction that I am going, my greatest concern is that I become comfortable for I know that comfort leads to complacency and complacency leads me to tolerance and tolerance leads to my own self-destruction. Continue to be gracious to me in allowing me access to Your wisdom and discernment and use it to transform my life. More than anything else, they are what I desire for my life.

Forgetting to Remember

Scripture: "But for all this, you did not trust the LORD your God, who goes before you on your way, to seek out a place for you to encamp, in fire by night and cloud by day, to show you the way in which you should go."
Deut 1:32-33 NASU

Observation: The Israelites took their eyes off Jesus and focused on their giants. In doing so, they forgot all that God had done for them. He was the LORD their God. The one who delivered them from Egypt. He went before them. He sought out a place for them to encamp. He was their fire of light by night. Their cloud of comfort in the day. He led them in the way to go.

Application. The promises of God are mine through faith in Christ Jesus. This passage is an incredible reminder of what those promises are. God goes before me to seek a place for me to encamp. Often times I feel like I have wondered into a strange place. Nothing looks familiar and almost everything threatens to over take me. In these times I must remember that God is before me. Even if I have rebelled, God is still right there; seeking a place of peace for me to camp. He is the LORD my God. I just can't fathom that. The God of all ages is my LORD. He goes before me, seeking a place for me to find rest and safety. Even in the midst of adverse circumstances God is able to provide me with safety and rest. He shows me the way I should go. In daylight, He is there as a cloud standing out on a clear day. He offers shade from the hot sun. Rain for the parched land. Relief for burnt skin. At night, He is a glowing fire illuminating the darkness around me. Either way He is there in a form that is easy to see. He is right there directing my steps. But it is also easy to miss. That is why it is so important to pay attention to what God does in my life…..to keep a record of the many ways that He has delivered me.

Prayer: There are so many things that can compete for my attention. The struggles are before me constantly as I walk through a land full of giants that tower over me. There are so many times that I feel inadequate. I struggle with that daily. I grow tired. I burn out and look around and feel like I will never overcome the things that I am up against. I forget to remember just how good You have been to me. You have done so much for me. As I sit here tonight reflecting over the life that you have given me I am totally amazed. The struggles You have brought me through. The hang-ups you have broken. The blessings that you have poured out on me are more than I ever could deserve. Regardless of what comes my way I have total confidence in Your ability to deliver me. Help me remember your ways. I never want you to say to me "But for all this, you did not trust the LORD your God". Build inside of me the strength of Caleb and Joshua. I want to look through the hardships and see the providence of You going before me. May I see your guiding presence as a cloud in the day and as a fire by night.

Time to Think

Scripture: "Jesus entered Jerusalem and came into the temple; and after looking around at everything, He left for Bethany with the twelve, since it was already late." Mark 11:11

Observation: I am not sure of the order, but I am going to use my holy imagination on this. Jesus came into town. He went to the temple and looked around. He looked at everything. I wonder what He saw and what stirred inside of Him. It was late in the day, so he left. But then He came back. This time, He took action.

Application: Oh man do I hate that feeling. My wondering eyes encounter a scene that I wish I did not see. My heart races. My breath draws short as my blood boils. In the moment I feel equally compelled in two directions at once. Part of me desires to speak out. The rage inside of me is so strong; I just want to go off. I can envision what I would say and how I would say it. At the same time part of me desires to just leave. I feel like I might as well just let it be. What good will it do? Who am I to judge? What if it goes bad? What if I am wrong? The questions mount as I stand there in utter turmoil. It is rare that I have the wisdom to do what I feel like I see Jesus doing in this scripture; just step off and then come back and respond. I wonder what His prayer was like that night? I just think about the King of Glory laying on His face before God in prayer. "What do you want me to do Father?" Jesus pleaded. I wonder if God then countered with these words from Isaiah, "My house shall be called a house of prayer." Then these from Jeremiah, "Has this house which is called by My name become a den of robbers in your sight?" As Jesus rose from the dirt, I imagine His mission was clear; it was time to clean house. Now, He moves forward with assurance and returns to the scene. This time, there is no hesitation. He steps in, cleans house and then teaches. Teaches. I just can’t imagine that part. I can get the turning the tables over and belting out in anger, but then Jesus does something incredible. He teaches. What a challenge to me. It was never about anything other than leading people to better understand the Father. He still loved the people.

Prayer: I stink at confronting things. I really do. I pray tonight for the wisdom to stay calm as I assess the circumstances around me. Hide Your word in my heart and allow me to apply it, not my personal feelings, to what I see going on around me. Allow me the courage and humility to approach you in prayer and understand how to bring things before You and receive Your counsel. I want to move in Your timing and in Your ways. Sometimes my own fear causes me to react too softly as does my anger sometimes cause me to over react too harshly. My impatience causes me to strike immediately just as my timidity often causes me to delay too long. Walk me down the path that leads to Your perfect balance of appropriate action and perfect timing. May all that I do be done with the intention of teaching people Your amazing truth. Forgive me for all the times I have failed to speak out, lashed out in anger, or left people hanging in the end without teaching them about You. I desperately need Your wisdom guiding my steps and actions.

Pity Parties

Scripture: "but that he will receive a hundred times as much now in the present age, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and farms, along with persecutions; and in the age to come, eternal life. But many who are first will be last, and the last, first" Mark 10:30-32 NASU

Observation: God does not allow our sacrifices to go unnoticed. In fact he repays them above and beyond what we lost. But there is a catch. It does not come for free and it often does not follow our logic.

Application: Pity parties are easy to come by. There are so many times that I just sit around and wonder what God is up to. I will replay the decisions that I made and the thought processes that led to them and I draw a blank. From what I can tell, I made every effort that I knew of to seek God and make a wise choice. Yet, the results are not what I expected. Then I run across a scripture such as this one and I am reminded of an important fact. This is not my home. This is not my land of promise. This is a fallen world and I serve a God who is hated by it. As a result, I will experience persecution. Godly decisions almost always find the accompaniment of persecution. My time here is just a journey of transition. During this transition, things will often feel as if they are backwards. But the end result will be perfected in God's heavenly kingdom. God rewards His followers. I get some of the reward now, but the bulk of it will be in the life to come. Why is it that I do not think of heaven? If it were a guaranteed vacation that I knew I was getting, I would think about it everyday. I would prepare for it. I would count the days and my anticipation would grow. I would live everyday in expectation that it would be coming to me soon. How much more should I dwell and think towards heaven with the same sense of optimism and anticipation?

Prayer: Instead of expressing gratitude for the eternity that you have set before me, I often sit and whine about the problems I face. Your word continually reminds me that persecution will come. I do not understand why I get so frustrated or act shocked at it when it happens. I pray that You teach me to have realistic expectations for what this life has to offer and to set my heart and soul on the life that is to come. Heaven is my ultimate home. This earthly one is just passing by. Focus my attention on Your purpose for me while I am here. Speak clearly to me and keep me on the path that You desire for me. I know that this path will bring some blessing now, but it will also bring struggles that will help me grow and add to the kingdom that is to come in the next age. I regret the things that I have placed before Your design for my eternal blessing and confess to You the many times that I have placed earthly things before You. You are amazing. I long to be wholly satisfied by Your promise for a permanent home. Give me the vision for it I so desperately need.

Words Matter

Scripture: "…he shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth." Numbers 30:2

Observation: This is, quite honestly, one of those passages of scripture that I do not enjoy reading. I read through it, scratch my head, and wonder what the application is to me. As I reflect on it I notice a couple things. God takes our words very seriously. They mean something. They come together to create the scales on which our lives are measured. Now I do not enjoy this passage for entirely new reasons.

Application: As the situation worsens, the stress inside of me rises. Tension increases and before long I find myself in a place of desperation. I feel so uncomfortable and so very irritated that I honestly do not know if I am going to make it without snapping. Then it happens. In the heat of the moment, when I am at my weakest, I open my big mouth and say something to God that I mean at the moment, but I really did it just to improve my circumstances. FOREVER seems like a sensible trade for the absence of pain but once the pain subsides, I am tempted to fall back on my word. As I replay the vow I made, I almost always find a loop hole or I alter my thinking until my perception of the act I am contemplating conveniently bends around the vow that was made. I have become quite proficient at this play on words. It is frightening. Really frightening. Those words matter. God remembers them. He sees right through my junked up argument and recognizes it for what it is; sin. How many times have I lived this scenario out? I still have not learned.

Prayer: You are marvelous. Your beauty is something that I can't even begin to behold. Your statutes are right and lead to well being. My flesh is not so. It manipulates my thoughts and tries to manipulate you. I have broken far more vows than I have kept. The case against me is insurmountable. I have no defense. None. My only hope is in Jesus. I am so grateful that the work You did on the cross is bigger than the work of my lips. I live with the consequences of my actions, but I stand in the presence of God almighty without a blemish. All because of Your Grace. I have proven beyond all reasonable doubts my inability to keep all the promises my mouth can make. I can't even bend the truth to create an unreasonable doubt of my guilt. I confess to you tonight that the list against me is longer than I could recall. I rejoice in the removal of this guilt. Help me move forward with a heart that is contrite and broken. In the heat of the moment when I am surrounded by frustration and seek to escape, stir in my heart a desire to just draw close to You. There is no need to barter. You do what You do because You are who You are. It has nothing to do with what I do in return. In short, zip my lips and open my heart. Give me the courage to sit at Your feet and fully seek Your direction in all that I do.

His Empowered Purpose

Scripture: "I feel compassion for the people because they have remained with me now for three days and have nothing to eat." Mark 8:2.

Observation: Jesus was in the same position as the people with Him yet he was concerned for them. Not just concerned, but had compassion. He did not just have empty compassion. He acted. He did not act with what He felt He needed; He acted with what he had. He knew that He was centered in God's will and that God always empowers His purpose.

Application: How could they not get it? Time and time again they sat and watched Jesus perform miracles. Time and time again they fail to apply the lessons observed to future events. Throughout the book of Mark I have found it quite easy to get judgmental with the 12 disciples. As I read the stories I think, you idiots. No need in trying to make it sound cleaner. That is the simple truth of what I feel like saying to them. Then it comes. That still small voice begins to speak. Often times that still small voice sounds like a mysterious ticking sound that you hear while you are trying to sleep. It's relentless pursuit continues second after second until suddenly it grows to become the loudest sound in the whole house. Today that still, small voice is asking me a simple question, "Are you really that different?" The question dances before me, beckoning me to entertain it. As I think it through I realize I am worse. No, I have never seen Jesus perform the miracles that the disciples witnessed, but I have observed him move time and time again in my own life. Still, when difficult circumstances find me, I struggle to maintain my composure. I feel the weight of the situation and assess the inadequacies of my provisions. Before long I, just as the disciples, render the situation hopeless. Just like the disciples, I have seen God work enough to know better. I have never a faced any situation anywhere close to those the disciples faced. No one has ever chased me out of town. I have never feared death over my beliefs. When I surrendered to the ministry, my family supported me. No one has asked me to feed thousands of people with a lunch-box worth of food. A storm tossed sea has never threatened to take my life, and I have certainly never seen my leader murdered in public. Most of the time it takes far less for me to lose my faith.

Prayer: I am reminded this morning of how easily I forget that you always empower Your purpose. As I move forward in life the only provisions that I need are you. I want to learn to be like Jesus. To be able to look at the faces of thousands and feel compassion; not fear and inadequacy. The foundation of my faith is believing in You. I am grateful for all the times you have stepped into my life and worked things out for your purpose and I truly repent of the times that I have lost my faith and become discouraged. It amazes me when I realize just how patient You are with me. I look forward to the day when I, like the disciples, learn to let go of my own perspective and rely fully on Yours.