Saving Face

Scripture:
"And fixing their gaze on him, all who were sitting in the Council saw his face like the face of an angel." Acts 6:15

Observation:
There are two things that stick out to me, the cold heart of the Council and the innocence of Stephen. One contains a warning. The other presents a challenge. Both pertain to saving face in an argument.

Application:
I hate what it feels like when I am deep in an argument; only to realize I am wrong. The anger risen up in me. The intensity of the moment has created a momentum that is difficult to resist. My pride has to much vested in the debate to back down. I look upon the face of the person representing the other side and I press on, knowing that I am wrong. I have seen this scenario play itself out in my marriage, in my work, with my kids and in all my other relationships. I hate it. Why I do it? I don't know, but it happens. As I read this passage, I see the extreme result of this behavior if left unchecked. That is the warning in this text. Learning to swallow my pride and admit a mistake is a battle I can not afford to lose.

Then comes the challenge. If I place myself in Stephen's place in this story the text would go something like this, "The Council saw his face red, his hands making certain gestures, and his mouth spewing words of wrath." I am not much of one for taking junk off of anybody. There is a fighter inside of me that is as vicious as any adversary I could face. It is my greatest strength. It is also my biggest threat. God gifted me with the ability to make an argument and stand my ground, but He did not give me a license to use it at my pleasure. There is a place and a time to display anger. Jesus clearly modeled that. But there is also a time to lay down. Yuck. There is nothing inside of me that freely gives itself as ransom for anything without putting up a fight.

Prayer:
I am glad You never let go of me or grow weary in dealing with me. This passage this morning has struck a cord in my heart and I desire for it become the song of my heart. Laying down my pride and admitting fault is never easy, but I hate the man I become when I fail to do that.

Having the humility to lay down my rights of defense in order to advance Your agenda is another area of weakness for me. The natural order of the world says that if I am obedient to Your will then all should go well with me. That is clearly not the case in the scripture. Stephen did nothing wrong, yet he faced a trial that eventually would result in his violent death. That is hard to swallow. It scares me.

In both these things there is a high requirement of faith. There is no way that picture book faith can compel me to do what You are asking. I pray that my relationship with You become so real that I would be willing to forsake anything to stay obedient with Your call on my life.