Sowing in Tears

Scripture:
"When the LORD brought back the captive ones of ZION, we were like those who dream. Then our mouth was full of laughter and our tongue with joyful shouting." Psalm 126:1-2

Observation:
The nation of Israel constantly found themselves in difficult situations. They would turn from God in rebellion, ignore His call to repent, and eventually experience His wrath. Most of the time His wrath allowed a rogue nation to take them captive.

Captivity for them meant that they lost everything that they owned and became slaves to the nation that overtook them. Slavery is not a good thing. Every aspect of their life was consumed by the abuses of their new masters. Life became miserable.

God's mercy eventually would always compel Him to return and deliver His people once again. When this happened, the people would celebrate. Laughter replaced crying. Dreams took the place of nightmares. Singing drowned out the painful torment of silence.

Application:
There is nothing like returning to God. So many times in my life I, just as the nation of Israel, have turned from God. As I think back over my life I can remember several times that I have found myself sitting some where and being tormented by my thoughts, a slave to my own sins.

Sometimes I find myself here because I have chased after some desire that was not healthy. Sometimes it is because something happened that made me angry at God. Other times I am not quite sure how I got where I am, nor do I feel like I did anything wrong; I just know that I am hurting.

Verse 6 of this Psalm says, "He who goes to and fro weeping, carrying his bag of seed, shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves with him." No matter how I got to where I am it is important to me that I learn how to respond to hurt. It is ok to weep. It is ok to be honest about where I am and what I feel. It is ok for me to be confused and angry. But I must never put down my walk with God. My relationship with Him is the seed of my life and I must carry it even during dark times of being lost.

Prayer:
There are times when tragic deaths cause me to become captive to feelings of doubt. There are times when unanswered prayers cause me to become captive to anger and disappointment. There are times with sinful choices cause me to become captive to rough circumstances. There are also times when evil things happen for no apparent reason and I become captive to bitterness and resentment.

Regardless of the source, the results of these types of situations always leave me feeling lost, lonely, confused and hurt; a slave to my own emotions and thoughts. It is in these moments of desperation, frustration, aggravation, and depression that I need You the most.

I pray that You teach me to continue in my pursuit of You even when the circumstances of my life come unwound. I know that doing this is my only source of hope.