Healthy Fear

Scripture:
"And to man He said, 'Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding.'" Job 28:28

Observation:
I often struggle with understanding the fear of the Lord. I have heard it explained many ways. The word used is not interpreted as in fear of getting in trouble or fear of punishment. It is fear as in a dread of causing offense or fear as in awe and wonder.

To me it is the same type of fear that I have of my kids. It sounds funny to say, but I fear my kids. When I look at my children, I am filled with wonder and awe. There are moments when I could spend hours just watching them play. The thought of maliciously doing something that would hurt them, disappoint them or in anyway cause them displeasure cuts me to my core.

That is the type of fear of which this verse is speaking. Job is saying that being broken at the thought of hurting the Lord is wisdom. And the sign of that brokenness being evident in someone's life is that they depart from evil; not because they fear consequences, but because they can't stand the thought of causing God to hurt.

Application:
The tough thing with this passage is that it is not something I can just do. It is something that results from my relationship with God. This morning, I am acutely aware of the fact that I am lacking wisdom. I fear God, but not in the manner outlined in this verse. I fear him more like a child fears a principle.

Prayer:
My heart does not belong to You as it should. I definitely love You and pursue You daily, but I feel convicted this morning. My pursuit of You has more to do with seeking Your blessing than it has to do with my love for You. It has more to do with staying out of trouble than it has to do with not causing You pain.

I want to change. Fear of getting in trouble has never served as a very effective deterrent for me. I loath rules and often carry contempt for those who enforce them. At times, that is how I feel about my relationship with You. It stinks to live that way, but it is often my reality.

All that I know to do is come before You this morning, acknowledge my mistakes, and express a desire to do things differently going forward. I ask in this moment that You come alongside me in a manner that I have never experienced. I ask that I be able to be with You in a way that is real. Real enough that the thought of causing You pain disturbs me at my very core.