The Picture I Have

Read: Genesis 43-45 & Psalm 12-13

“Now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life.” Genesis 45:5

Examine:

Joseph presents some amazing characteristics. His life was one of pain, betrayal, abandonment, and suffering. The call of God on His life and the oppressive choices made by others cost him much. Through it all two amazing traits held firm in Joseph’s heart. He never failed to stop believing in the goodness of God and he never allowed his heart to move past the point of forgiveness.

Apply:

As I read this verse there is truth that my flesh does not want to accept. I do not like to think that God’s call on my life might cause me to suffer harm. The words of Jesus ring load in my ears this morning as I hear Him say that if I follow Him I will have to take up my cross, deny myself and follow after Him. My life will either be lived for my glory or for His. If my life is for my glory then I will constantly live in a protection mode. I will base my relationship with God solely on the circumstances of my life. When everything goes my way I will serve Him with gladness. When He withholds something from me or asks me to delay gratification then my faith will fall apart and I will loose sight of Him.

“Now, do not be grieved or angry with yourselves…” Flat-out, dead level honest; there is no way I could have said that. In that situation, facing those circumstances I would have been way less gracious. Those words from Joseph taste like gravel to my pride. Forgiveness is something I love to receive but I do so struggle to give it; especially when the offense was great and has occurred consistently over a period of time. There is a maturing that needs to happen in my heart and death that needs to occur in my pride and flesh.

Pray:

I have a picture in my mind of what I my life should be like. That picture becomes my point of focus. Everything in my life begins to revolve around it. I live for it, I serve for it, and I make sacrifices for it. I protect it, fight for it, and leverage my resources in pursuit of it. I sit with You often in prayer but it is not really Your will I seek. Most of the time, if I am completely honest, my prayers center around asking what is required for me to obtain that picture or it is me begging You to move in providing me with my picture.

Over the years I have learned that You have a much different picture for my life than the image I carry in my heart. Honestly, that scares me to death. I want You but I often do not want that to come at the expense of the desire that I have for my life. It is a wrestling match that often leaves me feeling torn. One side knows that what You desire is better. History has clearly proven that. The other side knows that Your picture does not center on me; but rather focuses on advancing Your kingdom.

That is why remaining faithful is so difficult during hard times. It is not that I do not trust You. The thing that really causes me to grieve is the loss of my strong beliefs of how things should be. I am helpless in changing this. The only thing I know to do is acknowledge the shortcoming, draw close to Your presence, and trust You to change my heart.