Continuing in Faith

Scripture:
"If you continue in My word, then you are truly disciples of Mine; and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free." John 8:31

Observation:
This verse indicates some thing that I do not like to hear as it points to the fact that becoming a true disciple of Christ is not a "one-and-done" deal. I don't get to check it off the box. It is a continual process.

Application:
I like to complete things. There is some amazing sense of satisfaction in checking something off the list. It is like arriving at a destination. I have done what I said I needed or planned to do; now I am done. That is a great feeling. There is a tendency within me to want to do the same thing in my walk with God. I want to learn something and then move on with it. I want to confess a sin and be tempted no more. I want to release a problem to God and see it permanently resolved. I want to take a step of faith and see everything miraculously become taken care of. I want to have my quiet time and automatically hear from God. These are the expectations that I have: I act, God responds, and we move on together. It should be a simple process.

Here is the problem. I confess a sin and the desire for it becomes stronger. I release a problem to God and all hell breaks loose around it. I take a step of faith and the situation kicks me in the teeth. I sit down for my quiet time with God and all I hear is silence. It is painful to watch as the realities of life consume my expectations just as a hot fire consumes a piece of paper. I sit in the charred ashes of my former hopes and often wonder what do I do next? Then I hear the voice of my Savior speaking in this verse. "Jason, if you continue in My word, then you are truly a disciple of Mine. If you pick yourself back up again and walk after Me, you will learn the truth and be set free."

Walking after God is easy if it is to be done in terms of my expectations, but it is an entirely different thing when it must be done in terms of reality. All I have to do is look at the life of Jesus. He perfectly followed the will of His father, yet all He ever saw was adversity. He did everything that was asked of Him and yet He was followed by a mob of people waiting for the first opportunity to kill Him. His life modeled something I have to learn to accept and understand. God does not exist for my convenience and to make me feel whole. I exist to pursue a relationship with Him and to join Him in accomplishing His purpose; even if that purpose costs me everything in this life.

Prayer:
Learning to be persistent in my faith is one of the hardest things that I face in life. There are a couple of major points of pain in my life that I have literally prayed for and fought against for a decade or more. These things wear on me and I often just want to throw in the towel, but Your presence inside of me draws me and encourages me to keep going. Honestly, that frustrates me and there are times that I just wish You would leave me alone and let me go so that I could do my own thing. I realize that in those moments I have grumbled against You and I acknowledge that as sin. Thank you for never giving up on me. I pray this morning that You empower me to continue in my faith, even in the face of adversity.