A Secure Base

Scripture:
"There is no fear in love but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. 1 John 4:18

Observation:
What am I to base the security of my relationship with God upon? This question has tormented me over the years. I have tried everything. I have tried to base it on my ability to live good; that failed. I tried to base it on my ability to understand His word; that failed too. I tried to base it on my ability to take leaps of faith; another royal failure. So what do I do? How do I know if I am on the right path? John lays out a less than obvious choice in this letter; love.

Love is a tricky thing. We throw it around this day and time and it has become a very popular saying. It has almost crossed over and became an everyday salutation between almost any persons remotely connected to each other. God's definition of love is a little different. He says that no greater love has a man than this; that he lay down his life for another. That sets the definition of how I am to love and it also defines the firm base to build my faith upon. I sense tonight that there are a few levels of love to which I need to return.

Application:
The first level of love I need to return to is my love for God. Out of sight, out of mind is how the saying goes. One of the more frustrating things about God is that I never get to see Him face-to-face. Never have, never will. It drives my finite mind crazy. Conceptualizing God is beyond anything I can do. I just can't get my arms around Him. Loving something that I can't conceptualize or get my arms around is a challenge for me. Sometimes, it is easy to allow doubt to creep in and I often find myself standing at a distance from God. I need to allow Him to draw me to another level of love for Him. The creator of the heavens and earth calls me son. He loves me. He sits and waits on me. It is an amazing thought. My past has taught me a passionate pursuit of God leads to encounters with God that make Him as real in experience as He is in the beauty of His creation.

The second level of love I need to return to is my love for Jesus. Over the past month it has been fun reliving the life of Christ as recorded in the book of John. As I read about Him, it is hard not to love Him. He came and gave His life for me. He is my advocate. He sits at the right hand of God and defends me. What an amazing thought. I fail so many times to live according to His calling, yet He destroyed all guilt, condemnation, and fear. I am whole because of the work He did on the cross. I must never allow my love for Him to lessen.

The third level of love I need to return to is my love for those he has given to me. There are seasons of life in which it feels as though it is all that I can do to stay above water. I spend all my energy just trying to keep from drowning. The demands of life come upon me and sweep me away with their powerful currents. If I am not careful, I become a consumer in my relationships. I totally assess things based on the benefits delivered to me. I avoid things that draw from me. I am wrong in doing this. Just as Christ came not to save His life but to give it; so should I. My love for my family, my friends, my co-workers, and the many others associated with my life on earth should always call me to give.

The fourth level is really nasty. There is not a single fiber of my being that offers to accept it. I have to love my enemies and opposition. Man, the prior levels are things I can readily accept and work towards but this one kills me. God loved me, while I was still His enemy, enough to give His Son for my behalf. I can barely manage a smile towards someone when I am ticked at them. My pride is getting the best of me and I have allowed rage to build inside of me. Like a cancer, it has eaten away at my peace of mind and opened my life to torment. Returning to this level of love is the hardest, but it is critical to my life on earth.

Prayer:
I need to come to You tonight and ask for Your deliverance. My anger, pride and bitterness has created an impenetrable prison surrounding me. Offenses of others have piled up and sit as notes of debt I hold against them. It has driven me mad. Literally. It has separated me from fully walking in Your love, grace, forgiveness and blessing. I am done with it and ask to be changed. I release to You those I hold in contempt and forgive others for the hurt I harbor in my heart. I desire more than anything to have my love for You and Your Son to be renewed in my heart. Breath fresh fire and wind into me. Help me find purity, clarity and security in my walk with You. Allow my life to be broken and spilled over into the lives of others around me.