Not That Real

Today's Reading: Philippians 1

Scripture:

"But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better; yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sake." Philippians 1:23

Observation:

This is a flippin crazy passage of scripture. Paul is literally saying that he is struggling to maintain his desire to live and not because he is depressed, for is joy is complete. Not because he wants to get out of prison, for he is enjoying God's work there. Not because his imprisonment is confusing people, for they were finding encouragement in how God was using him. Paul lives daily with the hope of dying because he so longs to be with God in heaven. That is how real it was to him. The only reason Paul desired to stay on earth was his great desire to see the people of the world enter into a saving relationship with God through Jesus Christ.

Application:

It ain't that real to me. The things of God are real to me. I seek after them. I study. I have given my life over to pursuing them. I strive each day to grow more like Christ. But I still covet my life. I am not ready to go to heaven and not because I feel like I have souls to win. No, I want to stay here because there are things I want to accomplish. Dreams to pursue, experiences to have, and possessions to own all rally together to create a deep longing to live life.

But what about my desire for God. If I were thrown in prison would I be content to simply see God's Word spread through my struggles? Would my joy be so complete that I would be writing letters of encouragement to others? Would the people visiting me see a God so tangible that it actually gave them courage to face the same fate?

Prayer:

You and I both know the answers to these questions. My faith gets rattled when my dishwasher breaks and have to spend my golf money getting it repaired. I am ashamed to think about what would happen if someone kicked down my door and drug me off to prison for no reason other than my love for You. I confess to You my selfish sin.

Father I am stuck in a rut. I know that You have put on my heart a desire to live at a greater level of faith and I know the direction You are pointing me towards. I ask that You strengthen my faith. Help me walk towards Your calling for my life even though it is crazy and stretches me beyond my personal comfort. Redefine my belief of You until it is so real that I too will be torn between leaving this life to join you and staying on earth serve as a beacon for others.