Holy Desperation

Today's Reading: Isaiah 64 & John 2

Scripture:

"For from the days of old they have not heard or perceived by ear, nor has the eye seen a God besides You. Who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him." Isaiah 64:4

Observation:

The God I experience is the God I seek. As I read this passage of scripture I see a man in Isaiah who had a holy desperation for God to do the unexplainable and I am convicted of three things I need adjust.

Application:

The first is I need to stop seeking a God who does not know all my sins. I treat God like He buys my excuses and does not know that I am hiding things that He wants me to give up. Consequently, I experience a God who breaks the back of a liar. God is not mean; I am an idiot. I am finding the God my behavior seeks.

The second is I need to stop seeking a common, ordinary God. The world is full of good, ordinary ideas about God. These ideas are realistic, explainable, doable, and believable. They comfortably fit within the realm of my common sense. Consequently, I experience a fake God. He is fake because He really did not do anything in my life. I did it in my own strength, my own power, and my own wisdom. The "Christian" in me just gives God the credit.

The third is I need to stop praying with bridled expectations. The problem with my prayer life is that it cannot be faked. It accurately reflects what I see in the mirror. If I am covering sins and seeking an ordinary God; my prayers will be bridled. Many days I feel like God is absent from my prayers because He is. I seek a God who is absent because that allows me to stay unchanged. Consequently, I experience a silent God.

Prayer:

I lay my life bare before You and God confess that there are areas of disobedience that I ignore. I ignore them by making excuses, attributing them to my personality, or by saying they are not sin. I ask today that You forgive my foolish ways and heal these parts of my life.

I admit to You today that I pray ordinary prayers, look for ordinary solutions and experience a very ordinary God. I am often satisfied with this because it enables me to stay comfortable.

I ask today that You do the unexplainable in and through my life. Whatever days I have left on this earth I ask that they be filled with an extraordinary pursuit of Your purpose. As fire kindles brushwood and as heat causes water to boil, so is my desire for You to overwhelm my life. Father I prayer that You burn inside of me a holy desperation to experience a extraordinary expression of Your presence.