The Death of Me

Scripture:

"My soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, In a dry and weary land where there is no water. Thus I have seen You in the sanctuary; To see Your power and your glory. Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips will praise You." Psalm 63:1-4

Observation:

David's walk with God was amazing. His relationship with God was real. It was more than real; it was life to Him. It was not something he did; it was something that he was.

So where does one go to experience God like this? What changes take place in a person’s heart to enter into this realm of existence with God? There are countless books available that promise to deliver it in 7 easy steps, but what a load of crap they are. Nothing about following God is easy. In fact, nothing can be more difficult.

Application:

I have to die to myself and surrender my life to God’s call and purpose. As I sit here this morning, that is the thing about David I see the most. Regardless of his circumstances, he drew near to God. For me, surrender is only found at the end myself. I have to reach a point of inescapable pain and torment before I truly learn to follow God. Then, and only then, can I see my dependency on God. Giving up control can seem like the craziest thing for me to do, but it is also the best thing I can do. This process is much more than saying “let go and let God.” It is truly stepping into something being empty of myself to the point that my only hope is that God will show up and act on my behalf.

When those moments happen, I experience something that can’t be found in 100 books on Christian living. I find the sense of awe and amazement that often seems to be missing from my life. These encounters with God create inside of me the energy and confidence I need to take God into other aspects of my life and begin to give Him control of those areas.

God is in no hurry. His patience is long. But I have to remember this; while God has no beginning or end, I do. One day my life will end, my time will expire and the balance of my eternity will be set. I must live life with a holy sense of urgency towards searching after God. I must demand more from my experience with God than I am getting today and pursue it with everything that I have. Until I seek Him with passion, persistence, and purity of heart I will be perpetually stuck walking the same path that I am on today. God will never be any closer.

Prayer:

Something inside of me comes to life in a different way when I am connected with You and walking in relationship with You. That said, I can't honestly say that I know with certainty that You are my greatest desire. In fact there is plenty of evidence that You are not. It is easy to allow this to make me feel guilty, but I resist that this morning. Guilt does not come from You. While I am not where I need to be, I am much further along in my journey than I ever have been before. I am grateful for that and I also know that I will never be all that I need to be while I remain on this side of heaven. Instead of guilt, I feel great joy this morning knowing that you accept me just the way I am.

My soul longs to know You in a deeper way. Keep growing me. Keep molding me. There is a song I often sing that says "Strip away all that remains, For Your glory and Your name, 'Til there's nothing left of me. Burn the kingdoms I have made, 'Til there's nothing left of me…" That is my prayer this morning.