Edge of My Faith

Scripture:

"His disciples followed Him. And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being covered with the waves; but Jesus Himself was asleep. And they came to Him and woke Him saying, "Save us, Lord; we are perishing!" Matthew 8:23

Observation:

In the verses prior to this, the disciples are warned that by following Christ they were agreeing to give up a few things. Through the young scribe in verse 19 He taught them that they would have no place of rest and safety. Through the disciple in verse 22 He taught them that they would be forsaking their family. In spite of both these warnings, they got in the boat and followed after Him.

I can understand how the disciples must have felt. In a moment of choice, they listened to the warnings of Jesus and yet they still got into the boat with Him. They had to have been excited and on a high. The were expecting something great. Then the storm strikes...

Application:

I have certain expectations about the natural order of things. They are ingrained in my being and are more like automatic instincts that just kick in more than they are conscious decisions that I make. For instance, when I make good choices I expect good outcomes. Most of the time the good choice is a difficult one and so there is pain associated with it. I want something for my pain. A reward of sorts.

But what do I do in moments of life when my hard choices are rewarded with harder circumstances? What do I do when the right thing leads me to a place that asks even more of me? There have been many times in my life where I have found myself following God right into a storm of trouble. During those times, just like the disciples here, it is easy to feel like God is asleep on the wheel. In those moments, emotions run high and I often lose control of my senses and cry out to God, not in faith and hope but out of fear, frustration, and anger. They are not my best moments. They are not my purest of prayers. Be that as it may, I think that God honors that.

I have to think of it this way, at least I am in the boat and pushing my faith to its limits. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, it is the way things work. There is no way to grow until I have pushed myself to the limits of what I can handle. I do not learn and grow when I am sitting in ideal circumstances. Fake faith can take over in those places and I can live in a pretend little world with all my false beliefs. But when the storms of life hit, my true beliefs are revealed. The fake Jason gives way to the real Jason. I have learned to treasure these moments as God uses them to strengthen my faith.

Prayer:

My greatest desire this morning is for my heart to be made steadfast in You. I want that more than anything. I am in the middle of things that are larger than I am. I am tempted to feel like I have been abandoned. I am tempted to feel like a failure. It would be so easy to give way to these temptations and feel like I have been short changed by You. These temptations wear away at my soul and I feel them weakening my defenses. Be gracious to me. I seek You this morning as my refuge. I seek You this morning as my deliverance. Keep me at perfect peace as the destruction passes me by. Reveal to me the areas of my faith that need to be further developed. Awake in my soul a desire to sing.