I Hate Consequences

Scripture: "Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I shall rescue you and you will honor me. But to the wicked God says, "What right have you to tell of my statutes and to take My covenant in Your mouth? For you hate discipline, and you cast My words behind you." Psalm 50:15-17

Observation: It is easy to grab verse 15 and claim it when we face hard times. It is easy to share it with others when they face hard times. But how about the later verses?

Application: This is a tough one for me. The hell and damnation teaching of the old line church I grew up in has really jaded me. It is difficult for me to take passages of scripture that point to God's discipline and wrath and accept them. But as I sit here this morning I find myself having to wrestle with some really hard questions.

Do I really hate sin? The initial response is to say yes but I am not so sure that I do. I certainly hate some versions of sin such as physically hitting a woman or a child or the taking of the life of another. But what about other "lesser" versions of some sin? Do I really hate holding on to anger towards my wife and children? Do I really hate the anger that burns inside of me when I feel wronged by another person? Do I really hate the sin of greed? Do I really hate lust? Do I really hate bending the truth to get out of trouble? Do I really hate gossip and slander? Do I really hate drinking too much? Do I really hate over spending? Do I really hate eating too much?

As I look at these questions I feel a sense of uneasiness coming over me for I am starting to realize that I hate consequences more than I hate the sin. When I commit sin, the first thing I normally think about is what is the result going to be in my life. I feel terrible. Remorse is all over my spirit. Then, if nothing happens, I begin to wonder if I got away with it or hey, maybe it was not sin after all. I justify what I did and do it again. This is the scenario that is laid out in verses 21 - 22. I mistake the patience of God as being tolerant of my behavior. Eventually discipline kicks in and I find myself hurting. It is easy to mistake this as affliction. It is easy to run to God and beg for help.

Prayer: I am afraid that I only pretend to hate sin because I know that I am supposed to. The trouble with this line of thinking is that means I can only pretend to repent and I can only pretend to receive Your forgiveness. I am not sure where to go with this other than to ask You to change my heart towards sin. I feel that happening in some areas of my life but I still cling to certain sins. There are sins in my past that I would return to if I knew that I would get away with. That does not qualify as hating sin; it is the discipline I hate. That I confess to You as being a stronghold in my life. I hate being disciplined more than I hate sinning.

Many times I find myself approaching You claiming Your promises with a sense of entitlement. Slow me down. Help me examine my life. Allow me to honestly assess where I am and confess that to You in its purest form. Then I need You to do what only You can do, transform my mind and my desires. Move me past where I am and rescue me from the cycle of sin and repentance that seems to often plague my life. Help me to be truly broken of my sin against You; not the consequences that I face.