A Needy Man

Scripture:
"But I am afflicted and needy; Hasten to me, O God! You are my help and deliverer; O LORD, do not delay." Psalm 70:5

Observation:
I have a strong sense in my spirit that God is calling me to find new levels of purity, clarity, and security in my life. I have no doubt that this is the work He is doing inside of me. This directive came to me several weeks ago and continues to consume most of my thoughts and prayers. As I have sought these three things in my life I have been tormented by my inability to achieve them. I have found my relentless pursuit of these things to be exhausting, frustrating, irritating, humbling, and revealing.

I am truly powerless to bring them about. Purity alludes me as my motives, desires and longings remain bent towards self-gratification. Clarity remains hidden by the dark clouds created by my own fleshly desires. Security is hijacked by a band of tormenting feelings of inadequacy and fear of failure. I have worked tirelessly on achieving something that I have come to realize I can't do.

Application:
Needy. Using that word to describe myself delivers a striking blow to my pride. I can confess many things and own many failures but calling myself needy really sticks in my craw. But that is my reality. As strong as I like to pretend to be at the core I am a needy man whose only hope is a generous God. I need to call out to God and desperately pursue Him. As I seek obedience I must realize that He is my only hope.

Prayer:
I feel like I have lost my way. As I struggle to figure out the direction I need to take with my daily life I am honestly fatigued. There are battles I face that I just can’t win. I know that Your word is true. It is my only hope. As I sit here this morning I realize that there is something out of place. I can’t access Your strength and power to move forward with the things I feel that You have placed on my heart to do. I just can’t get it done on my own. I have cried out to You until I am literally tired. I no longer have words to express the level of frustration I feel. Hasten to me. Soften my heart. Open my eyes so that I may know my sin. Teach me to walk in repentance. My greatest desire is for my life to reflect your purity. My leadership to reflect Your clarity. My inner strength to reflect Your security. I sit waiting. I confess to You this morning that I am without the strength needed to resist my flesh and stay clear of my inner demons and temptations. You are my hope and my deliverer. Come to me quickly. You alone are worthy of honor. To only You belongs my praise. Your grace covers me and my belief in Your Son as my savior is my greatest treasure. Use me as You see fit