The Idol of Myself

Today's Reading: Numbers 2 & Acts 24

Scripture:
"But this I admit to you, that according to the Way which they call a sect, I do serve the God of our fathers." Acts 24:14

Observation:
Paul was not pursuing his own personal interests. He was not after acclaim, fame or fortune. He loved God and his desire was to see God be given the glory He deserved.

Paul says that he does his best to maintain a good conscience and to be blameless before both God and man. It seems to me that one of the key ways to ensure that this happens is to steer clear of selfish ambition.

Application:
This scripture is one that points to something that I have been struggling with heavily over the past few weeks. God has really been working on my heart about my selfish motives and ambitions. It is not that I feel condemned or guilty as much as I get a strong sense that there is something more for me.

I few weeks back I observed a man from our church named Shelby Neese leave his family to be a missionary. At a season of life when most men are thinking about retirement he left everything to spread the gospel in the dark places of Africa. The night we honored him and told him goodbye he said something that I will never forget. When asked why he was going he broke down and said because God is being robbed of the glory that is due Him from these people.

As I heard that statement I suddenly found myself needing to redefine selflessness in my own life. I do things for God but not because I hunger for His glory to be known but because I am seeking a better life. That to me is the missing piece of my faith. I do a lot of the right things for the wrong reasons.

Prayer:
I am not satisfied to be where I am. I despise my own selfishness. There is not one thing in my life that is not self centered. When I succeed I rejoice because it feels good, not because Your glory was revealed. When I fail I am broken because I hate to lose out on something, not because You were robbed of Your glory.

Every moment of everyday is assessed based on how I feel about what is taking place. I am slave to myself and I serve my own image. This morning I confess that to You and freely admit I am powerless to do anything to stop myself from doing this again today.

Father my only hope is that You be real to me today. I pray that Your presence be tangibly before me, that Your voice clearly call out to me and that You lead me to find my satisfaction in Your Name being glorified.

I call out to You today begging that You move in a way I have never known You to move. I pray that the God I read about in the Bible, the one that tangibly touches the lives of those pursuing Him, be made known to me. Mold me and break me so that I may be a man bound into service to You.

I try to live obediently to You now because I feel like I need to or have to. I ask that You move me to a place where I obey You because I can't help but do the things You have asked me to do.