The Edge of My Faith

Today's Reading: Nehemiah 9 & Acts 2.

Scripture:

"Everyone kept feeling a sense of awe; and many wonders and signs were taking place through the apostles." Acts 2:42.

Observation:

There was nothing ordinary about the faith of the men and women in this verse. They pushed themselves out the edge of where their faith could take them and experienced and extraordinary connection with God.

Application.

Awe. Wonder. Life. There are days when those words describe my relationship with God. There are moments when I have abandoned myself to the point where I walk in contact with God and see Him do some really amazing things.

Apathy. Contempt. Dead. There are days when those words describe my relationship with God. I have moments when I land in a place so cold and so distant that the very existence of God seems like an empty dream.

So what is it that carries me to these very different places? How can the same relationship produce these two extremely different outcomes?

Selflessness, intentionality, and self-abandonment are the keys I sense this morning. When I abandon my self-interest, focus on purposefully pursuing God's movement, and remove all concerns of personal ability or cost; God comes to life in a new and amazing ways. When I get caught up in building my life on earth, stop actively seeking God's purpose, and seek to limit God to comfortable movements; my connection with God loses life and take me to some really dark places.

Prayer:

Father this morning I am reminded that You are never not at work in and around my life. There is not a single place on earth I can go to escape the hold You have on me. That is the promise of my salvation through Jesus Christ. I irrevocably belong to You.

The flip side of that is my stubbornness, my disobedience and the weight of living in a fallen world can all three come together to make my existence on this earth miserable. I can find some dark places to abide that simply are not befitting the adopted son of a king.

I am struggling today to fully understand how my decision making contributes to this. Things in life happen so fast that it often seems like I make more subconscious choices than conscious ones. Slow me down today and make me fully aware of the choices I make that pull me back from the edge of my faith and begin the process of leading me to distant places.